Quiet Guardian
by ihearitsnows
Summary: Edward leaves and so do the rest of the Cullens. However Emmett finds himself not able to forget the one they left behind. So he returns back and discovers not Bella but a broken girl, can Emmett be Bella’s new saviour, or will they both end up alone?
1. 1: Unexpected

_A.N Ok WOW first story. Please let me know if you like it all not -Katie_

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Title: Quiet Guardian

Chapter 1: Unexpected

I couldn't believe what I was hearing,

'_Wait we're leaving, why?' _

I watched as Edward tensed up and looked towards Carlisle, he froze also and looked away. I felt my muscles tense up, _'Why weren't you tell me what's going on Edward?'_

"It's because of…the accident… it's because of me," Jasper spoke waking me from my thoughts, he looked like hell, he hadn't done much since the 'accident'. Edward opened his mouth but closed it, and I watched as Carlisle took over for him.

"Yes Emmett, we're leaving," I watched as Alice whispered soothing words to Jasper, _'I guess trying to convince him, it wasn't his fault' _I felt Rosalie slide in beside me, her hand coming to rest on one of my arms.

"I think that's a good idea, although if it wasn't for Edward's _mistakes_ we wouldn't have to worry about repeating high school, yet again." Her hand that once brought warmth to my body, suddenly felt like ice.

"We can't just leave, we have a life here…. _Edward, Bella is here_," The last part I let my thoughts say it, knowing the only person I wanted to hear it, would.

"I'm going to pack a few things, before we leave."

And with those last words, I watched Edward speed past, up to his room. I shrugged away from Rosalie, disgusted about how she was acting; she wasn't fighting at all, it was as if she wanted to leave.

I ran out of the room and made my way towards Edward's, arriving just outside his door.

"Can I come in?"

Edward didn't move he knew I was there before I even spoke one word.

I walked in anyway, "Edward what are you doing? It was an accident, we don't have to leave Jasper weren't slip again."

Edward snarled back, "How do you know that Emmett?"

Truth was I didn't and my moment of delay, seemed to satisfy Edward as my answer.

'_Bella isn't just going to let you leave, she loves you and she knows you love her, that's enough for her to keep you from leaving,' _

Edward tensed up, he knew I was right. Then he turned to me with an expression, that I had never seen on his face before; he was determined, and it scared me what was he going to do… to her.

"She weren't come after me,"

I knew I shouldn't ask; I really didn't want to know how he planned to make Bella not want to follow him, but curiously got the better of me.

"And how do you know she weren't?"

Edward smiled, and I knew at once that it wasn't filled with any happiness.

"I'm going to make her, hate me."

I frowned, Edward was hurting and I knew know matter what I said, I couldn't help him. My brother was lost and was going to take everything out on Bella, and I knew I wouldn't be able to stop it.

With a gush of wind, Edward Propelled out of his window and left me standing, scared of what was to come.

Hours past, or had it just been minutes and I stayed where I was, Edward's room waiting for his return. Edward was my closet friend in the family, even closer then Rose was and I was scared that after tonight I would lose him.

Edward arrived back, and his face revealed no emotion at all, although deep down I knew he was hurting. My hands flexed in and out, as I fought against, between comforting him or not, however one look from; what could only be described as the 'new Edward', made me turn away frightened. It felt weird being afraid, I don't ever remember being this scared… ever.

"We leave now," His growl, made me stumble back, this wasn't my brother, this wasn't my friend, and this definitely wasn't Edward.

I turned around, as soon as I realised we were no longer alone. Carlisle stood, almost as emotionless as Edward, "Emmett, are you ready?"

'_No of course I'm not, I don't want to leave… can't you see Edward is hurting, can't you see he doesn't want to go… we all don't want to go'_ I desperately wanted to scream to Carlisle, but instead I bit it back and answered, "Yep," because right now I knew that was what Edward wanted, and I wasn't about to upset him anymore.

I left walking towards Rose and my room, and made my way over to the small closet, that Rosalie had so nicely allowed me to have, to put all my stuff in. I opened it, yet I took nothing out, truth was I knew what ever I owned could be replaced; I didn't need to take anything. I sighed as I felt Rosalie's cold hand rest on my shoulder and I turned around facing her, her face that had once sent my body into Goosebumps and immediately break into a full dimple smile, seemed so… uninviting. I shrugged away from her, as I fought against whatever was happening to me. Then Rosalie said something that summed it all up.

"Why does it matter so much to _you _if we stay?"

I turned to face her and I frowned, _'Rose was right, why did it matter so much to me if we stayed all left, my life apparently was all in this room and that was leaving with me… so why did I care so much?' _I found myself thinking.

"I … I don't know."

And that answer was all she needed to know; that whatever we had… was over. She froze for a moment, and I watched her studying her reactions, but she did nothing and walked out, and I realised that hurt me more.

What had come over me in the last hours, I was unsure of, but one thing I knew, I felt more of a man now, then when I was wrestling any grizzlies. I knew Rose would get over it, she didn't love me, she loved keeping a hold of her human life and apparently I reminded her of something she never was able to get. Truth was I felt used and I was pretty sure if, Edward had been interested I wouldn't be standing here.

Yes I loved Rose, I still do… but it wasn't the love I ached for, the love Jasper and Alice shared, the loved Edward and Bella had for one another. I wanted that more then anything and I was truly scared I would never get to feel what love truly felt like.

I walked out and climbed into my jeep; I wasn't leaving this behind, and waited for Carlisle and Esme to drive off with Jasper, Alice and Edward in the car. I felt Carlisle's stare as Rose got into her convertible, completely ignoring me and drove out sending a great wall of dust and sand towards me and my jeep. I turned around and shrugged and nodded at Edward, allowing him to fill everyone in on Rosalie's and my break-up, they would have found out sooner or later. With one last sorrowful look Carlisle drove out, a lot slower then Rose had and left, disappearing into the darkness.

I cranked my Jeep into gear and followed their trail, leaving behind a lot more then a home.

****

Weeks past and I found myself, trapped in an unpleasant routine, which focused mainly on Rose avoiding me, avoiding the Denali girls (who had recently found out, I was single.) However something that I found myself constantly thinking about, strange as it maybe was Bella. Her face haunted my mind, and I knew it was killing Edward, but I couldn't stop, I wondered what had happened after Edward had told her he was leaving… leaving without her and then my thoughts were plagued with simple things, like what she was eating, was she even eating at all. Edward gritted his teeth behind me and I realised I had done it again. I mumbled my apologies, but as I did her face reappeared and I felt Edward collide into me. Edward was snarling and I did, my best not to let the vampire in me take over and fight him, he was my brother I didn't want that, I didn't want to hurt him.

Edward snarled again.

"Stop it, stop thinking about _her_,"

"I can't stop, I've tried."

Where did that come from, had I really been trying to stop?

Edward snarled again and I felt my lip quiver on a reflex, by now Carlisle and Esme had joined us, along with the Denali girls, Jasper and Alice. I felt an immediate calm wash over me and automatically I realised Jasper was calming us down. However, Edward was still growing and then out of no where he pounced, sending me flying over the cliff with him. I heard Esme, Alice and the rest of the girls scream as Edward continued to bash my head into the ground. He wasn't trying to kill me; that I knew, he just wanted something, someone to release his anger and pain onto, and I guess I was lucky enough to be that person.

Edward stoped, however he still sat on top of me staring down menacing.

"Stop, Emmett you have to stop thinking about her…"

"But I'm just…"

"No, you have to stop."

And that's when I realised, this was all his fault, I was confused and behaving nothing like myself because of him, his the reason I broke up with Rose and right then I realised I hated him.

"You're the one who over reacted; both you and I know Bella is better off with us, then alone." I found myself spitting out, Edwards's blank face, shook just for a moment; but it was enough for me to know I had gotten to him.

"And JUST STAY THE HELL OUT OF MY HEAD"

I hadn't yelled like that, for so long and it felt strangely good. Edward stumbled a bit and after a few moments I realised what I had done, I was letting my anger and frustration escape me once again and sadly I seemed to be taking it all out on him, like he had only moments ago done to me.

So much for the irony.

I offered my hand to Edward, as I felt everyone's eyes staring down at us.

'_Look I'm sorry, but you can't blame me for worrying about her, she was as much apart of this family as she was your… well whatever you guys were' _I smiled, although it didn't quite reach my ears as I pushed my apology, into his waiting telepathic head.

Edward looked back confused, but gripped my hand.

'_Come on lets go get some mountain lions, I know there your favourite' _Once again came no reply and I wondered was Edward still mad.

"So are you coming all not?"

Edward looked towards me confused, "Where?"

"To round up some mountain lions, I just asked you"

That when it dawned on me and I focused really hard on a grizzly bear I took down last week "Edward what am I thinking about right now?"

Edward looked at me as if I had grown another head, but then his brow creased back and he backed away… "I don't know I can't hear anything."

Carlisle who had made his way over turned to face Edward and asked the same thing, "When you and Esme first met."

"So you can still hear everyone else, but you can't hear my thoughts anymore?"

Edward shook his head and everyone crowding around us, turned to one another in shock.

****

A week later, Edward left.

He told everyone he just needed to be alone, and for such a long time I finally believed him.

The days continued much the same without him, Rose however seemed to be acting more friendly towards me; I guess that was a positive.

However, I still found myself wondering how Bella was. My sleepless nights seemed longer then they ever had before, and it was one night I decided I needed to see for myself, that she was ok and hopefully after that I would be able to return and maybe even work things out with Rose.

I told everyone, I also needed to leave for awhile and felt Carlisle and Esme's disapproving stares; they didn't want to see me leave… not another son gone. I assured them all I would be back.

And with that I climbed into my jeep and sped off in the direction of Forks.

****

I parked a good few miles away from Bella's house; making sure she didn't expect anything. I circled around the house, eventually finding Bella's window and scaled the walls of the exterior, as I climbed up and looked in.

Bella had her back facing me, so I was unable to see directly in, I carefully and soundlessly pulled up the window and climbed in, once I was in I made sure to close it behind me.

I made my way over to the side of the bed, where I would be able to see Bella, however what I found, was anything but Bella, the girl sleeping was empty and almost looked as if she was… dying, yes that was the right word.

I stumbled back shocked, this was not what I had expected and I knew then I wouldn't be returning to the Denali's until, this stranger sleeping before me, was once again Bella.

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_A.N: Ok so this pairing is kinda new to me. I hope you Bellmett fans like it so far. Let me know what you think and I'll update soon. Already written first 4 chapters :D._

_Thanks for reading... remember to review :D:D_


	2. 2: Quiet Guardian

_A.N: Just wanted to start off we thank you all for your kind reviews. Now I usually won't update so fast, however because I already had this chapter done, i felt it was rude to be holding it out on you guys._

_well anyways hope you like it!!!!_

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Title: Quiet Guardian

Chapter 2: Quiet Guardian

So over the next 3 days, I stayed watching over Bella as I began to think how I was going to make her Bella again. When morning arrived I would sneak out, once again through the window and go hunt. I was beginning to feel a new kind of respect towards Edward, how he was ever able to hold Bella, I still couldn't work out. Her scent was so strong, but I fought against it and made sure to go hunting everyday, just to make sure.

Bella never did much but sleep, go to school and eat; only when it was absolutely necessary though, I frowned as I watched Bella climb into bed, for another restless night. Her eyes were puffy and swollen once again, and I found myself wanting to make myself known and walk over and console her. However I fought against it and stayed quiet waiting for her to fall asleep, so I could climb through her window. Anyway what would Bella say if she did see me, it wasn't like Bella and I were the closet friends, I still found it hard trying to work out why I was here, I couldn't imagine trying to tell Bella why I was here.

Bella's quiet mumblings filled the room, and I knew she was finally asleep. I had been trying to work out what she was saying, but even my enhance hearing couldn't work it out; eventually I came to the conclusion she was just speaking gibberish. However one night as I sat watching her; as I moved back and forth on the rocking chair in the corner of her room, I heard her cry out,

"No please don't go. Please don't leave."

The pain was so apparent in her voice, that it caused a moment of pain to rip through my body. I knew she hadn't been sleeping well, but now I knew she hadn't just been sleeping, she had been having nightmares.

I was unsure of what to do; I was after all here to help her. I made my way silently over towards her bed and I fought back, the burning that erupted in my throat for being so close to her. I questioned if I would be able to do it and if by doing what I had in mind would wake her, but after some deliberation, I let my icy hand come rest upon her shoulder. Her reaction wasn't at all what I expected, but more what I had wanted, Bella had stopped shaking immediately and leant back into my hand, almost as if it comforted her. I decided now was probably best time to stop breathing altogether.

I stayed like that all night, and for the first time in what I could only guess since Edward left, Bella slept soundlessly.

The next morning, I carefully took my hand away and immediately missed the warmth her skin had brought; she also must have missed the ice coldness my hand brought with it, as she shuddered for a brief moment. I peeled back the window and slid out, however instead of going to hunt, I quietly decided to follow Bella about today.

I hid to the side of the window, making sure to give Bella some privacy as she began to get ready for school. After hearing her door close behind her, I ran around to just outside of her kitchen window and started to listen to Bella and Charlie's conversation.

"You look better today" I decided to lean just a bit up so I could see Bella's reactions, she did seem better, the purple rims under her eyes were still there, however the purple was less deep and it comforted me to know she was looking healthier.

"I had a good sleep, I guess"

She unconsciously rubbed her arm, where only a few minutes ago my hand had been.

"That's good Bella"

Bella smiled, although it wasn't quite reaching her ears and I watched as she grabbed a bit of toast and kissed Charlie on the cheek.

"Well I better, go or I be late for school." Charlie smiled and watched as Bella made her way outside. I flew around and watched as Bella climbed into her truck and roared the engine into life.

I ran into the woods and slowly followed her truck to school.

Upon arrival, I realised it wasn't as if I could just walk in and I decided it was best to run back to the old home and grab a change of clothes and wait around for her school to let out.

After changing my top and jeans I decided I better go hunt before returning to Bella's school. So all morning I spent hunting, however because I didn't want to go far I settled for a couple of deer, before heading back.

****

After what seemed forever the school bell rang out, signifying that school was over. I found myself smiling as I watched Bella come out, tomorrow was the beginning of the weekend, so most of the children running out were happy. I was happy to see that Bella seemed to be smiling also, however what I wasn't happy to see was that Mike Newton fellow following closely behind Bella. A growl escaped my mouth, and I was immediately confused about how and why this was affecting me.

"So Bella I was thinking, if you weren't doing anything this weekend, maybe you would like to see a movie with me." I was happy to see Bella didn't seem too interested.

"Sorry Mike, but I just wanted to relax this weekend; I have to catch up on some school work"

I knew immediately she was lying, having watched Bella complete all her homework 2 nights ago.

Mike frowned, but seemed to let it go for now.

"Ok well maybe next time then"

Bella smiled and turned fleeing to her truck. I found myself laughing at her urgency to be away from the Mike guy. Bella made her truck once again roar back into life and I followed soundlessly behind.

****

After eating and preparing dinner, I watched as Bella made her way up to her room, to get ready for bed. I was surprised to see her urgency to do so, was she waiting my cool comfort again?

After waiting for her breathing to slowly even out, I slid back the window and instead of moving towards the chair in the corner of her room, my body automatically made its way over so I was leaning over Bella's sleeping form.

I let my cool hand rest on top of her shoulder and slowly I allowed it to make tiny circles along her arm. Bella sighed at in relief and I smiled knowing this was helping her.

"Edward"

The name caused me to stop abruptly, well of course she would think my cold hand belonged to him, and even if she thought she was up to the stage where she believed she was truly losing it, she of course would still believe the sudden coolness belonged to him. Everything to Bella was Edward.

And I knew I shouldn't allow this to stop to me, what had I expected her, to suddenly say my name, _'don't be ridiculous, Emmett'_.

"Don't stop, please don't stop"

I let my hand fall back down to Bella's arm, because no matter what I was thinking, or what I was hoping, this still was all about her and making her better, this had nothing to do with me… or did it?

Bella sighed and I found myself sighing too.

Maybe I was being selfish, being here… but if my selfishness helped Bella too, it couldn't all be bad right?

****

The next night I noticed Bella was lying on her side and leaving the other side of her double bed wide opened, I guessed it would be easier to comfort her if I was lying next to her. No what was I thinking I couldn't do that, for one I was unsure if I would even be able to be careful, being that close to her and two whatever I had been feeling for Bella over the last few days … well it wasn't anything like how I use to feel towards her.

But I ignored my thoughts and the voice inside my head screaming, _'Stop, just stop, don't do it' as_ I made my way over to Bella's bed and slid in behind her.

My hand traced its way along her arm and I heard Bella sigh in relief, as I smiled in response.

'_Oh so wrong' _

I let my hand make its way around her body, as it now made tiny circles along her stomach, I found myself getting lost and letting myself become dangerously unaware of the situation when Charlie's loud voice awoke me back to reality, causing me to literally fly out of her room and out her window.

"Bella, phone"

Bella got up immediately, and I shuddered as I realised she obviously wasn't sleeping that well. _'You idiot, what would you have done if she had woken up and you were lost in your thoughts' _I listened as the voice in my head screamed out could have beens and what ifs.

I made my way around to where I could hear and see Bella clearly on the phone, "Hi Jake," I heard her say happily, wait who was this Jake and why was he able to make her smile like that. "Yes that sounds great; I'll see you around 10"

"Ok cya Jake"

"So I guess you decided to see Jake again?"

"Dad I thought, I told you not to listen into my conversations" I heard Bella say back. Charlie smiled, "I know, I know I'm just happy to see you getting out again kiddo"

Bella smiled and left going back up to her room. I raced around and climbed up to her window seeing her once again lying on her side, waiting for my cool embrace.

I fought against want and need, and ran off into the woods.

****

Next day I arrived early to watch Bella get out of bed, looking upset. I knew it was horrible, but it satisfied me that she had needed my comfort as much as I had needed hers.

I once again turned away, as Bella got ready for today. After awhile I turned back and watched her walk out, now fully dressed and showered. I jumped down and followed her footsteps outside.

She walked over jumping into her truck and turning it on as she slowly made her way, to wherever this Jake boy lived.

I began to get worried as her truck continued to drive closer and closer to the border, where I knew I wouldn't be able to go. I watched sadly as Bella drove past the border and I knew I would no longer be able to follow. When Bella became friends with anyone from la push had was beyond me.

Over the next hours, I waited impatiently for Bella's return. After what seemed like forever I finally saw Bella's truck driving back towards Forks, I smiled and after her truck re-entered over the border, I followed her slowly home.

I watched Bella get out of her truck and go inside where Charlie was smiling and waiting. "Have a good time?"

Bella smiled, and I immediately decided if she was going to go over the border anytime soon, stuff the treaty I would be following her.

"Yes, Jake showed me his car he built and everything," I snarled on automatic, I could build a car if I wanted to.

"Well I'm going to go to bed, night dad"

"But Bella it's still so early"

"I know but I'm real tired from today and all" I found myself grinning, was that really why she wanted to go to bed so soon? A small part of me knew it wasn't.

"Well goodnight then Bella"

Bella smiled and raced up to her room. I allowed her time to change and shower, before I made my way over to her window waiting for her to fall to sleep.

I knew I had said last night, would be the last, however after seeing her reaction at the thought of my cool comfort I couldn't help but think… one for Emmett and zero for Jake.

I noticed she had left the window opened, and I couldn't help but grin more.

I climbed in and made my way over to her bed, automatically pulling her into my arms. _'This is why you're here Emmett, you're here for her' _

I smiled and let my hand trace along her arm and what part of her stomach was left exposed, by her shirt being pulled up.

"I didn't think you would be back?"

I froze, she was awake or was she just dreaming?

"Don't stop." So I didn't and Bella sighed out again. I knew I was in dangerous territory, and any moment she could turn around and notice it wasn't her Edward, but rather a guy she hardly knew. I could imagine her screaming and shouting, when she realised the guy who had been comforting her hadn't ever comforted her before.

"There is something different about you" That's it I should run, flee before she realises, but I'm stupid and I don't.

"Your not Edward are you?" She says it and I can hear the disappointment in her voice rip though my body.

"No I'm not," Her body tenses up and I remove myself from her and make my way into the corner of her room. I watch her turning around to face me, but although I prepared myself for anger, for disgust all I get is confusion.

"Emmett?"

I nod on reflex and try to make my eyes look at anything but her.

"But why?"

Well of course she wants to know why; I knew I would have to explain, so I tried the best to.

"I was worried about you, so I came back to make sure you were ok… but what I saw scared me."

"What did you see?"

"I was looking at you Bella, but it wasn't you and that terrified me" I tried to talk to her without any emotion, but I couldn't help but let my pain seep through.

"Terrified _you_?" she said it almost, like she couldn't believe anything could scare me.

"I'll understand if you want me to go," I hadn't expected her to shake her head so fast.

"No please stay, _please_," Her last word, I her heard her choke out and I realised she was crying. I had never been good with showing emotions or dealing with them, but what I'd been finding out lately is when it came to Bella, everything changed.

I made my way over and brought my arms around her, making sure I was so careful.

"And to think, I didn't even think you liked me," She managed to laugh out, which immediately caused me to laugh.

"I think me being here, is a surprise to us both"

I felt her nod and I carefully picked her up and put her back into bed, tucking her sheets around her. I was about to make my way out again, when I felt her warm hand wrap barely around my wrist, "Please stay."

I was shocked to hear her say it, but I realised I probably just reminded her how Edward use to hold her, but none of that mattered as long as she was ok, I would stay even if it was becoming harder each night to let go.

So I lied down beside her and let my hand once again make small circles along her arm.

"My quiet guardian"

"What?" even though I had heard what she said, I wanted to hear her say it again.

Bella laughed and sleepily replied, "Emmett, you're my quiet guardian." I smiled and continued to rub my hand back and forth along her arm, as Bella let sleep over take her and I found myself thinking, _'what was going to happen now.' _

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_A.N ok well there is chapter 2.... tell me what you think, i love hearing from you guys. Remember the more you review... the faster I'll update :D_

_-Katie_


	3. 3: You’re dreams, my nightmares BS:pain

_A.N thanks for all who reviewed. Ok in this chapter you will see Bella's side... this will happen through some chapters in the future. However don't need to fret because it will be many in Emmett's POV._

_Well anyways I hope you enjoy this!!! :P _

_-Kaite_

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Title: Quiet Guardian

Chapter 3: You're dreams, my nightmares (Bella's story: pain)

His scent lingered on the pillows, still strong … still intoxicating. I took in another deep breath; it was painful how it had become so addictive, I needed it, almost as much as I needed oxygen. The scent was making it hard for me to breath, as I found myself getting caught up in the one memory, I'm sure I'll never forget.

The woods suddenly surrounded me as Edward came into view, it hurt so much that he was so beautiful.

"Bella, I don't want you to come with me."

My heart stoped no he hadn't meant to say it like that, he just wants to protect me. I found myself questioning it out loud anyway, "You… don't … want me?" It sounded so alien, so ridiculous, but now I realised only last year it wouldn't have. Because how could he possibly love _me._

"No"

Was it possible one word, could hurt so much? I felt my whole body begin to ache… I guess it was. '_No he couldn't mean that, he doesn't_.'

But he looked back at me, as if my pain seemed to satisfy him. Did he realise what he was doing, how much he was hurting me?

The pain kept coming, as the rest of that horrible night, played out before me… with me playing the starring role.

I grasp the pillow closer, never wanting to let go, never wanting the scent… his scent to fade away and leave me … again. His words; from the nightmare I had just woke from, lingered like daggers, digging deep into my body, where I guess what was left of my heart still was. I felt tears press against my eyes threatening to escape.

After he left, that was all I seemed able to do…cry and I had begun to hate myself for it.

'_Pathetic, so pathetic' _

Edward was right to leave, every single day I was with him, he was protecting me. I must have been such a burden. It was then I realised I had to get stronger and maybe just maybe he would come back… but I felt my body break down into another round of sobbing and I knew he was never coming back. Because who in this world ever would? Then I remembered him… Emmett.

Emmett, who I originally thought; even when Edward and I were dating, didn't want much to do with me, had shown up out of nowhere and had been secretly watching over and consoling me this past week. I was waiting for him now; it was weird how someone I barely knew was able to make me feel so… safe, I hadn't had one dream about Edward since he arrived, well until now.

It was weird how Emmett's scent was so different from Edwards, as I shifted from where Emmett had laid just last night and Edwards's pillow, Emmett's was so much richer… stronger. I let go of Edward's pillow and let my hand trace lightly over Emmett's side of the bed.

"What you doing?"

My face automatically broke into a grin, upon hearing his voice chuckle lightly. I turned around facing him and watched his dimple smile immediately fall from his face.

"What is it, what's wrong?"

Emmett moved closer to the bed, "You've been crying Bella,"

I felt stupid, vulnerable that I had let him see me like this, how else was I going to prove that I was ok, so that he could go home. But did I want him to leave? What ever I had been thinking seemed irrelevant when his cool hand came to rest on my shoulder.

"Bella?"

I felt the tears prickle against my eyes again and I tried helplessly to rub them away before they fell. "I'm fine, really I am." Emmett shifted beside me effortlessly as his hand began to make cool circles along my arm; I leant against his hand almost instantly, wait when had his touch become to feel so natural?

"You don't look fine,"

I watched him as he paused and frowned, I couldn't work out if he was actually looking at me at the time or just staring blankly past.

"Look Emmett if I wanted the third degree, I would go home to my mother," It had come out a lot harsher then I had attended it to and Emmett's hand immediately stopped moving.

"You're right I'm sorry, I won't ask anymore questions if you like."

"No Emmett I'm sorry I didn't mean it like that, I'm fine really I am," I looked over staring in his beautiful topaz coloured eyes, he didn't look like he believed me, however he soon covered up his uncertainty with a small smile.

"Come on you better go to sleep, having me here is no excuse to forget your human needs," I found myself smiling, something that had been happening more usually since his arrival. I pulled back the covers rolling over onto my side on reflex. After a moment of not feeling his cool comfort I turned back around and looked around, my eyes finally resting on him sitting on the old rocking chair in the corner of my room.

"What are you doing?"

"Bella…" It felt weird hearing my name escape from his lips, he didn't say it like he use to, "I thought it was best that I sit here tonight,"

"Why?" I hadn't expected myself to react so quickly.

"I'm afraid…"

"Look I'm sick of everyone being afraid to hurt me, I trust you Emmett," I found myself immediately fighting against Emmett's worry; I had after all expected him to say something like that.

"No … well yes I'm afraid of that, but Bella I'm also mainly afraid of my feelings towards you… now."

Ok I hadn't expected him to say that.

"Oh"

It was all I could say in response, and I think he had fully expected me to respond quite in the same way.

"It's just well…"

"Rose?"

His reaction was almost of complete surprise, like he hadn't expected me to ask at all.

"We broke up, but that is beside the point look Bella, you don't have to worry I'm happy to be whatever you need from me and if that's a brother I will do that."

"Well maybe not a brother, a friend?"

If Emmett had been disappointed he hadn't let himself show it, as his face was once again covered in his full dimple smile. Wait why was I feeling so … dissatisfied? "A friend… I can do that."

I smiled back in response, and patted the spot next to me on the bed, "Ok well what I need now is a friend, think you can help me out." Emmett was over before I was even sure I had stoped speaking and I felt immediately relaxed as his cool hand, began to make traces along my body.

"Night Bella,"

I smiled and felt my eyes drift close as I whispered back, "Night Emmett."

****

"I decided I'm staying indefinitely,"

I turned over and looked over at Emmett, he was staring back full dimple smile and I automatically found myself smiling too.

"Really?"

"Yep, I signed back into the school yesterday, saying I decided to come back and finish off the school year."

I tried to work out when he had the time to do that, before realising it must have been when I had been in school.

"Oh my god that's great," I threw myself out him, and immediately wishing I hadn't, even though he had caught me there wasn't much improvement from hitting concrete. Hard. "So where are you staying?"

Emmett chuckled again, "Well here of course, unless you don't want me?"

"No it's not that, it's just well what are you going to tell everyone?"

Emmett smiled again, "That I'm staying here, with you and Charlie," He must of saw my frown of confusion as he continued, "I spoke to Charlie the other day, while you were at school…" How much had he gotten done, while I was at school? "And of course after awhile of trying to explain my situation and how I had been keeping contact with you, well he immediately realised I had been the one making you happier lately, so he allowed me to stay in guest room."

"Wow Charlie, really will do a lot to see me happy these days,"

"Yeah we both will," I found myself blushing in response, and immediately thinking why afterwards.

"So well, this should be great."

"Yeah," He laughed out.

*****

Emmett moved in the next day and it took most of the morning to clean out his new room. I noticed that Emmett had brought over some of his old stuff, and I wondered immediately when had Edward and I ever been in his and Rosalie's room?

"Bella, I know as much as you hate people driving you to places, will you at least let me drive you to school tomorrow, I haven't had time to drive my jeep and I really do miss doing it," Emmett of course finished his sentence with his trademark dimple smile, how could I possibly say no?

"Umm sure." Emmett's body collided with mine as he threw me into one of his famous hugs and I found myself grimacing in pain.

"….Can't breathe..." I managed to cough out, I felt Emmett drop me immediately, however instead of throwing apologises at me and retreating to the far side of the room, like _he_… Edward had use to, Emmett just sheepishly smiled and shrugged his shoulders back, sometimes it was hard to remember he was a vampire.

"I'll just have to be more careful next time."

"Kids?"

Charlie's calls echoed down from the kitchen and Emmett instantly pulled me to my feet.

"Coming dad,"

After pizza was eaten and finished, Emmett pretending very well to eat, I sat back and watched Charlie interact with Emmett.

Charlie seemed to look at Emmett as if he was his own son, he would ask for his opinion on things, that I would have no idea on and Emmett somehow knew all the answers. I tried to remember when Charlie had giving Edward the same respect, however I found my body didn't like where my thoughts were heading and I found myself chocking back a sob. Emmett's eyes were immediately on mine; of course he had heard it. Emmett turned away, trying not to draw Charlie's attention to me.

"Well Bella and I better go to sleep," I watched as Emmett faked a yawn, "School tomorrow and all," Charlie nodded and clapped his hand down on Emmett's shoulder, automatically I saw him grimace, but being Charlie he pretended he hadn't.

"Well goodnight you two then, see you in the morning."

I left the table, without saying another word and I could feel his presence follow me up to my room. I felt his breath tickle against my neck, before I found myself gasping how close he was.

"Need a friend?"

The one sentence cause the lump forming in my throat to move violently up and down, all I could was nod and I felt him disappear, I guess allowing me time to shower and change. I took my time and by the time I was back in my room pulling back the covers, I knew Charlie was well asleep.

I lay down and felt his cool embrace surround me, when did he arrive? Bloody vampires.

"I hate him,"

"Who?" Had Emmett found time to make an enemy as well?

"Edward."

I felt my breathing stop altogether, we hadn't discussed Edward since his arrival and I didn't think we ever would. I was however surprised and I found myself strangely, bravely asking why he hated him.

"Why?"

"Because what he has done to you,"

I swallowed hard.

"I really thought me being he was helping you… I guess I was just being naïve," I felt him slowly pull away and I knew immediately if he really wanted to let go of me, he would of done it much faster.

"You are helping me." His arms were instantly back around my waist and although I knew it was going to hurt, saying his name I knew I had to put an end to this subject.

"I still love Edward…" He stiffened, beside me, "So I don't want to hear you saying you hate him, because he is also your brother don't forget that."

"Uh… I …umm…" wow I had made Emmett speechless… "Ok, whatever you want Bella,"

I frowned in response, why was it always about what I wanted… damn vampires.

"Look Emmett…" But Emmett's cool hand was already covering my mouth, before I could say anymore.

"Shh, Bella it's time for bed." I felt his hand slip down, freeing my mouth and although now I was free I decided it was best not to say anything, after all who wants to get into an argument with a vampire?

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_A.N well there's chapter three... like or not??? I'm interested in finding out ...so please review :D:D_

_-Katie_


	4. 4: Conversations behind closed doors

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A.N: Thank-you so much all who read and also who reviewed, I'm glad to hear that you all like my story :D:D

_This is my last unbeta-ted chapter woot woot LOL. So next chapter will be without my small mistakes woot woot :P:P_

_anyways on with the chapter... i hope u all enjoy_

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Title: Quiet Guardian

Chapter 4: Conversations behind close doors.

Bella shifted and rolled over, her face, nose …lips pressed against my cheek. I took in a deep breath; not afraid I would sink my teeth into her soft, warm skin… no I was well past that now, currently and lately I had been finding myself, more interested in kissing Bella then killing her and truth be told this scared me more then anything I had to deal with before.

I rolled over so my lips were only millimetres in front of hers and my eyes; if she were to open them would be staring right at hers. Some part of me wished she would wake, so we could share this intimate moment together, however I knew deep down, Bella would just turn away embarrassed, that her sleeping movements had put her in such a situation, that she would believe make me uncomfortable. Oh how she was wrong.

My hands were left unoccupied by my side, and at the moment I felt they needed to be holding something, it wasn't my fault Bella was the closet thing to hold… was it? Usually my idle hands had become very bad indeed, like last night at dinner when they had touched lightly with Bella's, she had merely blushed and shrugged it off… and I had to fight back the fact that if I was human I would be blushing if not more too. I had been so lost in my thoughts, that I hadn't realised my hands had become impatient and had already wrapped themselves around Bella, usually I would be mad about losing my control around Bella, however right now all I could do was smile and let my nose brush lightly against Bella's.

My occupied hands had begun to cause just as much, if not more trouble then my idle hands had. These hands of mine had a mind of their own, and they often liked to ignore my more sensible thoughts and act out my deepest desires, and lately they had been quite busy acting on those desirable needs of mine. I looked down and noticed my hands not longer encircled Bella, but had started to drift towards Bella's exposed thigh…. _STOP_!!!! My thoughts ripped through my head and I had to look down and see that Bella was still sleeping, making sure I really didn't yell it out loud. I breathed out a sigh of relief and decided now was the best time to think of something, anything that didn't revolve around Bella, '_good luck…shut up' _I growled at my own negative thoughts, this was definitely not what I needed now.

School, yes that was a good start, well not really considering school does revolve around Bella, all my classes are with her and I sit with her and her friends at lunch. One thing that had come to surprise was that the group of humans that Bella sat with now welcomed me with open arms…. Ok maybe they weren't that welcoming, but at least they would converse with me and I even had one ask me out. Human's funny creatures indeed. Although they hadn't been so friendly when I had first arrived, I'm just glad all that tension is gone. However there was another thing that had surprised me the most… Jacob. I had of course been put off when Bella had invited the boy over; when clearly he was in love with her, however after getting to really no him, although I hated to say it… he wasn't such a bad guy.

Bella moved and now her mouth was so close to mine, that I could feel her breath against my face, oh how sweet it seemed, My hand slipped free and I watched as my finger traced a line down Bella's face, finally resting on her lips I took a deep breath and … jumped away, landing silently on the floor.

I started pacing back and forth, what was I doing? I let my hand slide down across my face… you IDIOT how could you let yourself get to this point, you CAN'T kiss Bella you just can't. Did you even think of the consequence, what if you lost controlled and killed her… you're stronger then Edward and that brings me to reason 2 EDWARD! As my thoughts started to work out wrong and right, I found my eyes being drawn back to watch Bella's sleeping form. And that's when I knew, here I was meant to be her guardian… her quiet guardian and I was doing nothing but cause more trouble. I put my head down, that was definitely something I didn't want for Bella, so…..

That night I decided tomorrow night, I was staying awake alone in my bedroom.

Next morning I left earlier to go hunt, although I would be lying if I said I had been hungry, by the time I arrived back, Bella was already up and eating her breakfast, next to Charlie.

"So where is that boy?"

"Right here, went out to get a quick breakfast," I said walking into the kitchen, startling Bella.

"Well good morning then Emmett, Ok well you kids have fun today, wasn't Jake coming up?" I nodded confirming the boy's plan of coming over later, "Ok well I'll be home late tonight, cya kids," Charlie then walked out, leaving Bella and I ; and if I was right are very pissed off Bella, once again alone.

"Why weren't you there when I woke up this morning?" Bella snapped at me as she turned her head to face mine.

"I went to hunt Bella, you know so I can focus on not killing you," I said sternly.

"Oh please don't feed me that bullshit, both you and I know you have that side under control, what's up with you lately… you've been acting all different," She continued to try and stare me down, I opened my mouth to try to find any other words to say, other then it's because I love you.

But I couldn't.

"It's because I love you." Oh crap I said it, no turning back now, come on react … say something Bella. But all that answers back is silence … and for the first time in a long time, I feel like I am in pain.

"Hey guys… whoa are you guys having a fight or something?"

Great timing Jacob.

"No," I hear Bella shout, causing Jake to look even more confuse, as I continued not to be my normal happy self around him.

"I feel kinda sick, I'm going to skip the hike, But hey don't let me keep you from going?"

Jacob looked up at me confused, "Are you sure, I mean Bella and I could stay behind…"

"NO," Bella's raised voice cause another sharp jolt of pain to shoot through me, "You were so exited Jake, it's ok I'll go with you beside Emmett said he doesn't mine, And I need some fresh air."

I was a vampire and still I felt every word she said was like daggers digging deep into my skin. I didn't know how any human could take such pain, when I felt like I was slowing dying.

"Well if you're sure," Jake turned to exit, as he saw me smile weakly and nod in approval.

"Wait Jake," Both Jake and Bella snapped around.

"Please look after her," I saw Jake smile and Bella turn away.

Good I was making it hard on her; she needed to know how it felt… how I felt.

"Don't worry she is in good hands." And with that I watched my best friend walk out, with the girl who had captured … everything that was left of me.

What had I done?

And what was I going to do?

I was lying, on my unused bed, when I heard Jacob and Bella arrive… I didn't have to move an inch to hear what they were saying. Sometimes I love being a vampire.

"Look Bella I'm sorry... I didn't mean…"

"It's ok, really it's fine."

Wait… what had happened?

"It's just that I thought, well you kinda liked me,"

"It's not that I don't like you Jake, it's just I'm just not ready for a relationship again, you understand."

"Yeah of course," Maybe it was just my vampire ears, but he didn't sound too convinced, "well I'll see you and … if his feeling better Emmett tomorrow, tell him to get better. Bye Bella."

There was a slight pause, awkward shifting of feet and a sloppy kiss on the cheek, before he left and I heard Bella make her way up the stairs.

I felt my breathing begin to get heavier, as I heard her approach my door, I held my breath as I listen to her frantic heart beat, and her fingers brush lightly against my close door. Knowing she is standing out there, maybe thinking over what I said, was killing me. I knew I had every power in mean to just walk over and rip open the door and pinned Bella against my wall and kiss her.

I pulled my pillow of my face and screamed into it, GOD did she realise she was tearing me apart.

I looked over at my bedroom door, it was creating the only boundary between me and her, and I realised it was a symbol, it represented how there was this line, that shouldn't be crossed no matter what, the line was drawn by, regret, love and Edward. But I felt my body get up and move towards the door, and I realised I wasn't afraid to be crossing that line now, not when it meant being closer to her.

I pressed my forehead against the door's soft pine, and I listened as Bella did too. She pressed her right arm against the door and let mine follow, the door was like a piece of glass for me, every movement I could hear clearly, therefore I was able to see everything she was doing. Bella's mouth opened, and mine closed… was she going to speak… no she closed it and I let my right hand fall, as hers fell to clench tightly beside her side.

Bella looked up staring right through the door at me, I let my eyes stare right back, it seemed so unfair that I could see her and she couldn't see me… but she hadn't been playing fair either.

It was her time to follow me, as I let both my hands slam against the door, she hadn't jumped like I had expected, but mealy followed placing her hands firming over mine and the door. I moved my forehead back to rest on the door, I listened as she placed hers back just under mine… she let out a deep breath as I did.

"Bella…"

Silence.

"Emmett."

Then there is hope.

"I didn't plan this…"

"I know."

No one talks… but her hands move down and mine follow… as I realise, she is beginning to ache, well at least I think she is.

"Emmett…"

Her voice chokes; on my name as I here her sobs disguised her usual strong, confident voice.

"I'll try to say this right, because I've been planning it all day… just let me finish ok?" She manages to sob out a sentence. She isn't crying, but I can hear her struggling to hold back her tears.

"You have to understand… that I'm struggling to piece this together. One thing I know for sure is… that I still love Edward, when I know I shouldn't… but I can't help it, just like I can't help that I fell in love with you."

I feel my body, buckle against the door… she loves me.

"But it just feels so wrong," Wait no it shouldn't feel wrong… it should feel so right… like it does when I'm with you; although I want to interrupt I stay quiet just like Bella said.

"…However every time, minute I find myself spending with you makes me feel less confused by all this… and more right… Emmett, I know you can understand… what I'm trying to say."

I breathe out, as she does, "What is that."

"That we can't be together."

I back away from the door, and I hold back the scream, I so desperately want to release. And that's when I realised nothing else matters and I allow my body to walk over to my door and open it. Breathing heavily I stare down at Bella; tear streaked, with her light massacre smudged underneath her eyes, she was ever so beautiful. I let my hand move, almost swallowing Bella's head, as I swept it lightly over her cheek. I let my hand stay there, as I inched my body closer to her shaky body.

"You're wrong."

I watched as Bella said nothing, mealy frozen staring directly into my eyes, however as her mouth fell open, probably to excuse herself, from our current position. I found my finger rest lightly of her soft lips; silencing her, because I was quite enjoying our current position.

"Now Bella, I'm going to kiss you."

Bella said nothing in reply accept pull my hand away from her mouth, I allowed it to fall back to her waist. My right hand still caressing her tear streaked cheek, carefully began to bring her face towards mine, as I found myself bending down to reach Bella's mouth.

Breathtaking.

Is all I can use to describe how I felt when our lips first met.

I allowed my lips to begin to slowly move against hers, and to my great surprise I felt hers move with my own. I knew I had to be careful not to let my teeth cut her, but with Bella in my arms I tended to get distracted.

Soon I was pretty sure, Bella wanted to do more then kiss, as she slipped her hands underneath my shirt. I gently pulled away, "Bella I thought… what about what you said?"

Bella smiled up at me, "It doesn't matter, because you kissed me and nothing else matters anymore… well at this present time."

"Exactly, I don't want you do something you will regret later."

Bella started to walk towards me head shaking, "Emmett, I was just holding onto something… I knew I should have let go awhile ago, and you helped me with that. Can't I show you how much I appreciate you for everything you've done?"

"But Bella, that isn't what I want from you. I want everything and if it's possible one day I want to be you're everything."

Bella smiled.

"You will have to get use to my obsession with Wuthering heights and Shakespeare."

I laughed; it seemed so weird laughing, after I hadn't done it for awhile now.

"I think I can handle that, I guess its just part of the consequences for falling in love with a lamb."

The front door swung open, I guess I had been so distracted with Bella I hadn't heard Charlie's car pull up.

"Ah I decided to get pizza… I hope you like pepperoni Emmett."

I found myself smiling along with Bella, as we began to make our way done stairs and I felt her hand encircle mine.

"It's my favourite."

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_A.N Ok so this is my favourite chapter so far :P:P .... did you guys like it??? let me know _

_and thanks for reading I LOVE U ALL :D:D_

_-Katie_


	5. 5: Bear Hug BS: Happiness

_A.N: I can't believe how many people enjoy this story... thank-you all so much... and now on to chapter 5._

_Also I would love to thank my wonderful betta Steeph90. _

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Title: Quiet Guardian

Chapter 5: Bear hug (Bella's story happiness)

I woke and felt myself smile instantly, as I felt Emmett's strong grip around my stomach and I realised that yesterday really did happen. Emmett kissed me.

And yes… there was Edward, who constantly flooded my mind, bringing me only pain and more pain. It was right for me to let him go, I didn't want to feel guilty for letting go of someone that had already clearly let go of me. After Emmett kissed me yesterday, I was finally able to make the final decision and put Edward as far back in my mind that was possible.

Right now I didn't want to feel pain or agony, because right now I was finally happy.

"Morning beautiful," Although I still had no idea how anyone could find me beautiful, I mean wasn't I just ordinary? The way Emmett was able to let it role off his tongue, made me… almost believe him.

"Morning…" I turned around facing him and found myself breathing in quickly, because for the first time I was fully able to realise how truly breathtaking his was, "You really are breathtaking."

Emmett laughed and I found myself frowning a little "What you are," Emmett just chuckled more. "So Bella what do you want to do today?"

"Umm Emmett we have school?"

"Oh right, forgot about that." Yes defiantly it was no wonder people, were able to get along with Emmett he acted so … human, "well I'm driving then."

I just found myself bitting my lip, there was really no point in arguing with Emmett, he usually won anyway. He either draped me over his back; hanging me upside down till I made up my mind or tickled me (there was no way I was going to let that happen again).

"What no arguing that we take your so called truck?"

"I realised a long time ago, there is no point, you win anyway."

"That I do." And there it was his breathtaking smile.

"Ok well let me have a shower and get changed, and then we will go ok?"

"Ok I'll go get changed." And with that he was gone and I found myself scurry around for something to wear.

By the time I got back, Emmett was waiting fully dressed smelling; if not more intoxicating then usual, in the corner of my room. "You look beautiful," yep here I was dressed in simple pants, a blouse and wearing my worn pair of converse shoes, yet he found me beautiful. "You don't look to bad yourself," I watched as he smiled and began to make his way over to me.

"Bella do you mind if I kiss you again," turning towards the door, I'd still expected Charlie to be asleep, it was after all his first day off for the year, so there wouldn't be any awkward interruptions there; he didn't know that Emmett and I were together. Feeling a bit more confident then usual I made a step towards Emmett.

"You know you don't have to ask me every single time."

"Ok I'll keep that in mind." By now I could feel his sweet breath on my face, his mouth just inches away from my lips. Bending down and resting both hands on my face he pressed his lips against mine, and I allowed my lips to part a little so we could deepen the kiss… ever so carefully. Emmett wasn't afraid to let his emotions run a bit out of control, however he still made sure to never let me get anywhere near his razor sharp teeth. Was it possible for anyone to kiss this well, well I guess. He did have centuries of practice. I felt Emmett's hands begin to slide off my face and make there way down my body, caressing me as they went. They finally rested on my hips and I smiled against his mouth as I felt his fingers begin to slip under my blouse and move across my stomach. I had been so lost in the kiss and I guess Emmett had also been lost in both controlling himself and enjoying himself, that we were both surprised to hear a loud coughing sound interrupt us. Tearing apart from one another's lips we turned to see both Charlie and Jacob standing, one not looking so happy and the other looking rather hurt.

"When did this all happen, before or after you wanted to move into my house Emmett?"

"Oh no Charlie, it's not like that, Bella and I only just started dating yesterday." It was probably the most flustered I ever heard Emmett talk.

"Hmm," Charlie seemed to be going over things in his head, he was arguing between throwing the boy on the streets for kissing his only daughter and jumping for joy, because I knew deep down Charlie loved Emmett. But the one thing that was really worrying me, wasn't Charlie but Jacob, he hadn't said anything but mealy continued to look at me with such confusion and I knew why, only yesterday I had told him; after he had tried to kiss me, that I wasn't ready for anything just yet and I still was in love with Edward… I had lied.

"Bella… Emmett… I just…" And with that Jacob turned around walking out the door, I gave a pleading look at Emmett gesturing him to follow me and go after Jacob.

Emmett clasped my hand with his and pulled me out with him, I watched as he gave Charlie one last smile and I found myself smiling a little back as Charlie's lips gave a small twitch and then give Emmett an appreciated nod.

So one down, one more to go, I had a feeling Jacob would be harder… but he was our best friend, so he had to forgive us … well I hoped he would.

"Jacob, wait." I heard Emmett yell beside me, as Jacob made his way over to his car. Jacob spun around, look furious. "Why, should I wait? Bella you told me that you weren't ready for this, or were you just waiting for someone better to come around."

"It's not like that Jacob, Emmett he just understands my situation." Why was everything that I seemed to be saying sounding so pathetic?

Jacob just looked over, "And I don't, Bella we have both been there for you, you have to understand… that I just don't"

"Well I think maybe now, you need to be able to understand." I looked over at Emmett, what was he going to do… tell Jacob that he really was a vampire. What if Jacob freaked out and ran away and told everyone, it wasn't like he was infatuated with Emmett, he couldn't be blinded by Emmett's love and see pass everything else.

"It's ok Bella, I trust him."

"What are you talking about Emmett?"

"I need to explain something to you Jake, and I think it's best if we go somewhere private." I watched as Jake just stood silent for a minute, however I knew eventually his curiosity would get the better of him; Jacob stepped forward and began to move towards the forest with Emmett and me. Just before we were about to enter, I felt Emmett stop me, looking up my eyes connected with his gorgeous topaz ones.

"Bella I think it is best if I talk to him alone."

Although deep down I wanted to go with them, so I could calm down or reassure Jake at the right moments, I stood still and nodded. He gave a small smile and kissed my cheek quickly before disappearing into the forest along with Jake.

And for the next 30 minutes I sat just outside from where they had entered, waiting for them to come back. My mind had been plagued with all the things that could go wrong, however I tried to allow my thoughts to stay on the one thing… for Jake to finally understand and we would no longer need to lie, we could finally be ourselves.

I was stirred from my thoughts as I watched as two figures began to slowly make there way over to me. I found myself looking intently at Jacob, looking for any sign that he was ok, and that's when I saw it, he was grinning from ear to ear about something; I couldn't quite hear yet, that Emmett had said. I finally for the first time in nearly an hour relaxed. I smiled as Jacob ran over swooping me up in his arms.

"Bella, this is so cool."

"Really?" For a moment, I thought maybe it had all gone to his head, however looking at Jacob smiling down at me, I realised he was genially happy.

"Yeah he took it really well; it kind of scared me at first." Emmett managed to chuckle out.

"So you are really cool about this all?" I asked just to make sure.

"Yeah of course I am … I mean this is awesome, you do realise the stuff we will be able to do now, I mean in secret of course," He chuckled after that, but I found myself frowning a little wondering what he had in mind, "And the situation between you and Emmett, I guess I just have to get use to it, however I do want you to promise me something."

"Anything," I couldn't believe how easy this had gone, I reminded myself to make sure to thank Emmett later for this truly brilliant idea.

"That you to will refrain from kissing one another, at least when I'm around," I couldn't help but smile at Jacob's request and Emmett's pout.

"Ok." We both answered, although Emmett sounded less enthusiastic by the idea.

"Wait aren't we all meant to be at school, like 1 hour ago." The boys both shrugged, typical.

"Come on Bella, can we all just skip it and hang together for the day."

It was tempting, but I knew Charlie may find out and then there would go 2 weeks or weekends with Jacob.

"Nope anyways Jake, come over after school today and I don't know we go down to Portland or something."

Emmett and Jake first seemed a little upset, however after awhile they both agreed especially once I told Emmett he could still drive me. We said our goodbyes to Jake and made our way over to Emmett's jeep. Emmett opened the door for me before racing over to his jumping in, it was cute how exited he got about driving his jeep.

"Buckled up?"

"Ye…." Before I was even able to finish what I was saying Emmett had sped off, at an alarming speed down the street… what was it with vampires and driving at suicidal speeds? Well I guess they weren't use to having people in the car that could actually die.

"So that went really well didn't it," Emmett turned to face me and I almost cringe at the fact he took his eyes away from the road.

"Yeah it did, so what happened."

"Well at first he thought I was joking, when I told him about the rumours and how they were like true…" and there he goes again with the head turning, "But then I showed him some stuff I was able to do and yeah his mouth dropped so far, he kind of looked like one of the ventriloquist dummies really funny actually, but then he was all like 'this is so cool' and 'we can have so much fun now' it was a bit of a surprise, but a good one."

"Can you please keep your eyes on the road… or did you forget that I can actually die." I watched as Emmett just laughed, "I can't crash."

I wasn't convinced.

I looked around, as I realised we were now parked just outside forks high school.

By the time I was fully able to realise that Emmett had got us to school in then less than 5 minutes, he was already by my door opening it for me.

"Come on Bella, we got English."

After what seemed like the longest English class ever, thank god I had Emmett in there keeping me distracted, so I couldn't fall asleep.

We were queuing up in the cafeteria line, Emmett busy deciding whether he wanted the tuna salad or the pizza, honestly, when I started wondering what my friends would think about Emmett and I dating.

"Umm the salad, no wait the pizza, no I take that back the salad," I could see the woman beginning to get frustrated. "Ok we'll have two slices of pizza." The woman now almost looked like she wanted hug me.

"Come on Emmett lets go sit down," I began pulling him in the direction of our table, however it was more like my hand on his shirt and him just walking behind me, because I could never really pull Emmett.

"Oh but Bella I wanted the tuna salad." I ignored his pleads and went and stood opposite Mike and Angela and the rest of the group sitting at the table.

"Hey guys, we were just wondering where you two were." I smiled, ok I wasn't going to lie that I wasn't a bit anxious if they were going to notice Emmett and I were no longer friends.

Emmett poked at his pizza and I watched as Mike, frowned "You never eat anything Emmett, what's with that?"

Emmett looked up,"uhh…"

"He's just upset he wanted the tuna salad."

Mike still didn't look convinced, "But yeah I don't think I've seen you eat anything,,, like ever"

I watched painfully as Emmett bit into his pizza, I remembered once when Edward had done it, apparently it was meant to be like eating dirt or something like that. However I didn't expect Emmett to swoop me up in his arms.

"Bella thank-you so much, this is the best pizza ever!!!"

"Ok Emmett, there is subtle and obvious and what your doing now is definitely not subtle." I found myself whispering to Emmett. Emmett just smiled and winked, putting me down and pulling out my chair so I could finally sit down. I had to admit I was a bit dizzy and I was pretty sure it had more to do with Emmett's proximity then being lifted up into the air.

Mike frowned and to be honest I knew it had nothing to do with Emmett's appetite anymore.

"Something's different about you two?"

I nervously laughed, "Uhh what do you mean?"

"You two…"

"OMG YOU'RE DATING AREN'T YOU," I cringed as Angela screamed out the reason, behind my uneasiness.

Emmett just smiled and kissed my cheek, wrapping his arm around my shoulders, "Yep."

Yeah of course he was relaxed. I just gave a weak smile in response. Emmett didn't seem to notice my uneasiness about public displays of affection, but dived into conversation with Angela's boyfriend Ben, about some Cubs game; how on earth he had watched it was beyond me. I watched as he smiled and laughed with my friends, while I pretended to be interested in something Jessica was telling us girls. He really was something, and as much as I hated to admit it, I didn't mind his hug that much … he had away of taking you into his arms and making you feel, so safe.

It was his own personal bear hug, and lately I had been finding myself needing them and wanting them a lot.

I found my eyes wandering and I smiled as his connected with mine, when he smiled I felt his hand grip mine bringing it up to his lips to place a gentle kiss on it.

Yes for the first time in weeks, I was definitely, genuinely happy.

****

I smiled as Emmett and I pulled up to the house, Charlie's car was gone and Jacob would be here soon, so we could really have fun this afternoon, especially now Jacob knew about everything.

Emmett had made his way over to my door and had his hand held out for me to take, which I gladly did.

"Climb on my back."

"What?" I found myself smiling regardless.

"Come on just do it." I climbed (well with lots of Emmett's help) onto his back and it was literally a blink of an eye before we were inside my house, in the lounge room. I leaned forward and watched Emmett grinning from ear to ear. I squealed as Emmett chucked me onto the couch, I hadn't been expecting that. I watched as Emmett made his way over towards me and climbed on top on me and the couch, he was careful not to let any part of his body touch me, relying on his arms to hold him up.

"Is this ok?"

All I could do was nod, silently liking Emmett's more forward behaviour… I mean I was a teenager, and I had hormones to quench.

Emmett bent down capturing my lips with his own, oh god here I go again… totally lost in the moment.

And that is exactly what had happened we had been so lost in the moment that we even gotten to the point where I was without a jacket and Emmett was without a shirt… Of course I had been mentally frozen upon seeing his god like body; he just had chuckled and recaptured my lips with his own. We both were surprised when the doorbell rang. Jeeze Emmett must be concentrating really hard on everything, to lose his surrounding senses.

"Coming," I yelled, I frowned as Emmett laughed as I tried to fix up my messy couch hair and find his shirt, now where had I chucked that?

"Will you stop laughing and find your shirt, it could be Charlie or Jacob."

I watched as Emmett sniffed the air, "Nope never smelt them before." I frowned, motioning him to go find his shirt, as I made my way over to the door.

Opening it, I looked at the person who had rung the door; they were now standing with their back towards me, it wasn't until he turned around that, I found myself staring. He no longer had the scent that use to drive me crazy, his skin no longer was white or looked like porcelain, his eyes were no longer topaz but a deep green.

He was everything Edward would have looked like, if he had been human. What had I possibly done to deserve this torture, because who ever this boy was, he may as well be Edward's twin (well human twin). However another thing that I started to notice was, that he almost looked like he was struggling to stand up, that he could fall over any minute he looked really sick, however at the same time he was smiling.

"Bella?"

His voice, wasn't musical or beautiful… it was deep and although it maybe one of the nicest human voices I have ever heard it still was just human.

"Who are you?"

"Bella," I stuttered back as he let out, a loud choking cough one after the other, "It's me…its Edward."

And with that I watched as he collapsed to the ground.

* * *

_A.N: Ok not going to lie...i'm really nervous about this one. Expecially the new twist at the end. DW next Chapter is in Emmett's POV (Just sometimes we have to hear from Bella). _

_-Katie_

_p.s LOVE U ALL_


	6. 6: Human

_A.N OMG have i seriously told you ppl how much i love u heheheh. Thankyou all for reading and reviewing._

_AND thanks to my wonderful beta Steeph90 _

_I hope you all enjoy chapter 6, Human :D_

* * *

Title: Quiet Guardian

Chapter 6: Human

One Minute, one knock on the door and one human was all it took, for my world to come crashing down.

He was back, and I don't know how, but he was human.

Weak, vulnerable and sick, words I never thought I would use to describe Edward… now seem to suit this entire situation all too well. He had fainted and Bella had fell right back into his arms. He needed her and although, deep down I thought that just, maybe, she wouldn't take him back… _he_ had _needed_ her so I knew she would.

It had been a month since he had come back and I watched, along with Charlie, as Bella continued to care for him. It worried me that her glow that she had only recently gotten back, had once again faded to nothing … but what one could only describe as grey. Everything she did now revolved around Edward and taking care of him, she no longer went to school and although I had fought with Charlie about it; he too had seem to have given up and a small part of me knew he had given up the moment he saw his daughter with Edward again.

Edward slept with Bella now, as I lay awake staring at the wall… which really didn't separate me from them. Every night I listened (watched) Bella cry herself to sleep, as Edward fell into his deep slumber, smile planted permanently on his face. I didn't understand how he could be so blissfully happy, when clearly every cough, shudder and shake was killing Bella.

Bella and I used to have this routine. Every first day of each month, we would watch the sunrise on our roof. I found myself climbing up early, at least a few hours before sunrise to wait, a large part of me knew she wouldn't come, so I wouldn't be lying when I was surprised when she showed up a few minutes before sunrise.

"I didn't think you would be here,"

"Don't be ridiculous Emmett; we made a pact to do this every first day of each month,"

And I'm not sure why, but I find myself laughing. Bella gets up and leaves after that and I find myself watching the sunrise alone.

Jacob and I find ourselves hanging out alone, we try to act like nothing is different, but both of us know this wasn't working out… we are nothing without Bella. So both of us come to this silent agreement and decide to no longer hang out. As soon as he leaves, I run off into the forest and pounce on the closet animal I find. It isn't until I've drained all of its blood that I realise I've been neglecting my vampire needs. But it's also then, that I realise I hadn't been that bothered by it.

I still sit with Bella's friends at school, although I no longer join in with conversation, I think they're to scared to ask me to leave. One day one of the popular girls comes up, a cheerleader; Brittany, Tiffany or Ashley, I don't really care she asks me if I'm up to see a movie this Saturday with her… I say yes and I don't realise why until Saturday comes around.

I'm in my room picking out something to wear, when Bella comes in… bags under her eyes and tears on her cheeks.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm going on a date." Bella stumbles back shocked and I try to fight off the guilt that I feel knowing that this is what I wanted.

"Oh…"

I don't look back as I walk out the door, but I feel her eyes stay on my back and I smile, knowing that I've won.

I find out her name after all was Amber and she isn't that bad after all. Her dad is into marketing and her mom left them when she was 8, I pretend to care when she tells me this, resting my cool hand over hers, she doesn't seem to mind its coolness and I find out this bothers me more.

It's halfway through the movie that I realise why I'm out here with Amber, I almost laugh as I find myself admitting and it's almost clique to a point, 'Hi my name is Emmett and I'm addictive to humans'. I lean over and kiss Amber then, and although I know its darn right one of the most stupid things I've done… I find myself kissing her again that night. I don't see Amber again after our date, I make up excuses to dodge her at school and for any future plans she has for our next date. I decide to make my pursuits less obvious just in case something does go wrong, so next weekend I drive up to Portland and allow myself the choice from many admirers to spend the night with.

I still remember Bella's face every time I bring home a new girl, she looks at me with disbelief and hurt, but it only feeds me on as I bring home two girls next week. Charlie has altogether stopped caring and has gone into his own world, I don't talk much to him anymore. I run into a female vampire for the first time, in months and I find myself strangely dissatisfied, I turn to the next female _human_ to walk into the bar and I take her back home to forks. Next morning I make sure Bella is up, before I kicked her out. Bella looked on and shook her head, I painfully smiled back, greeting her with; what I believed was a very rehearsed 'good morning' she didn't even reply and turned around walking back into her room.

Its the next night that I meet Ashley, a young aspiring graphic designer from Jersey, she immediately falls under my spell and I take her to the nearest hotel, not bothering to drive her back to my house. She is pressed between me and our hotel room wall, when I realise then when I close my eyes just a bit, she could look like Bella. Something comes over me then and I push her back into the wall and walk away, it's only until I don't hear her shout or yell that I turn back and see she is resting in a pile of her own blood. I rush over and immediately realise that her heart isn't beating and fall back… her blood not even tempting me the slightest, for the first time since Edward had called us monsters, I finally find myself agreeing. After chucking her body into a river, I make a promise not to sleep with humans anymore; a part of me knew it would only last a day, but I was wrong. it lasted three.

It was a week later, that I saw someone who could have possibly been Ashley's mother or older sister and I found myself outside of a church for the next six hours. I didn't go in, because somewhere deep inside me I knew, I wasn't meant to. I once heard Carlisle and Edward fighting about the after life and I once again; all though I gritted my teeth to it, agreeing with Edward, if we were to die even hell wouldn't be enough punishment for us.

By the time I got home I found myself walking past Bella's door expecting to see her kneeling beside Edward with a wash cloth. But no all I found was Edward staring up at the ceiling smiling, I made move to leave but Edward had spun around and caught me staring.

"Emmett?" I was out of the door and into the woods before I even had thought of something I could have said.

I stopped myself just before I reached the woods and found myself staring back at the house, and that's when I saw her sitting alone on our roof and I realised it was nearly time for our next sunrise.

I made my way up, and silently sat down beside her, although I knew she knew I was there.

"Edward's sick," why was she saying his name, I didn't want to here it … especially here, "And he won't let me take him to the hospital, I thought maybe he would get better… but everyday he's just getting worse."

A part of me thinks this is good… however I admittedly feel guilty and decide not to say anything.

"I don't know what to do anymore."

I feel her shift beside me and as the sun begins to rise I wrap my arm around her and bring her close, whispering sweet nothings into her ear, 'your beautiful, wonderful and breathtaking.' And that's when I realise for a small moment everything feels right again. She gets up and leaves after another ten minutes of nothing and I refuse to turn around, because I can't bear to watch her leave… again.

I leave that night but for some reason, I always find myself returning before tomorrow, and I don't have the answer for that just yet.

I don't go out next night, deciding best to stay home… Charlie's out and I try to pretend I'm here because I want to be, not because the need to protect Bella is as strong as the day I came back. I'm walking by Bella's room and although I don't have to be standing right up to the door to hear her conversation with Edward, I do anyway… it seems lately I've been finding it almost natural to be human.

"You're still so beautiful..." A loud coughing fit interrupts Edward, and I can almost see Bella's worried face, as she flusters over him.

"Edward please let me help; you need to see a doctor."

"No." He says it like any child refusing to go see their doctor, and it just makes me pity him more.

"Edward you don't understand, you could… _die_," Bella chokes out the last bit, like she can't possibly imagine it.

"I know." It's then I lean closer, looking through the tiny gap, of the ajar door and I see that his smiling. Bella collapses on top of him, hands gripped so tightly on his shirt that her knuckles are turning white, I hear her cry out and hold him closer. For the first time in over 2 months, I don't want him to die.

I'm lying awake staring up the ceiling, thinking about the woman who could have been Ashley's mother, when I hear a small knock on my door. It's her.

"Emmett," I rush over and have to pause just before unlocking my door; to realise I'm meant to be angry.

"What?"

I say it harsh and I feel guilty immediately afterwards, when I feel her head come to rest on the door.

"I'm … I just… I need you."

It doesn't take me long to unlock the door and pull her inside my room, my hands find their place on her head and I let my dark eyes rest on hers. She takes in a deep breath, "You're hungry, maybe its…."

"Don't go." It's weird how vulnerable I was able to sound… but it had been a long time since I had felt like the strong and tough Emmett I use to be.

She nods against my hands, like she could escape anyway now she was in my hands, flashes of Ashley fill my head, and I feel guilty, dropping my hands instantly. "What, what's wrong?"

I put on a fake smile and say nothing, If I had done this a few months ago, she would have caught me out for lying, but now that we had said 'nothings wrong' for such along time, we automatically know the other is lying and let it go. We have our own secrets now.

"Bella just for tonight, maybe can we just pretend like nothings changed… that you still love me…" She opens her mouth to object, but I don't let her, "And I still love you?" It's a lie, of course I still love her, but it allows me to see, only just for a brief moment she still cares and for now that's all I need. For now.

"Ok."

I lead her over to my bed, and allow her to lie down first, before I curve in beside her. I know she doesn't say it, but it's on the tip of her tongue and she's thinking did I do this with all of them, or is she special?

"It's easier now, I've had a lot of practise," Another lie… makes me feel better and her worse, it's sad how selfish I've become when clearly she needs me now and I'm just making things harder.

But she was allowed to be selfish and take Edward back, so why can't I be?

I move my hands up and down her shoulders, hoping she can forgive me for what I just said, she leans back into me … and I know I'm forgiven.

I start thinking of something that's been on my mind for a good few weeks now, and I decide to finally let it slip.

"I'm leaving." I was surprised by how quickly she turned around, tears shimmering in her eyes.

"NO, you can't go… you just can't… please don't leave me, please don't leave me like he did… please."

I pull her tightly into my chest, where I let her cry into, I don't care that my shirt is now moist. "It's ok Bella, shhh I'll stay ok."

"Never say that ever again please." And then she does something that surprises me… she kisses me and I find my lips moving against hers likes it's the most natural thing to do.

"Why?" I find myself breathing out, after the kiss ends.

"Because he left and you came back." She says it like it's the most obvious thing in the world, but to me it still isn't. I decide now, isn't the time to say anything… just enjoy this why it lasts. So I take a hold of her hand, leading her up to the roof.

I sit her down, then I jump down beside her, I know she knows why we are here.

"I feel bad, I forgot."

"It's ok, I remembered for us both."

It was funny how those two sentences, seemed to sum up our last few months apart from one another. I laughed at the irony and for once I felt Bella understand and laugh too.

We watched together as the sun began to open up and rise slowly into the sky, starting off purple, pink, orange and finally ending with a deep yellow.

"What happens now?"

I look over and grip Bella's hand tightly, "I'm going to help you with Edward," Bella was about to open her mouth to protest but I quickly continued, "I know it's going to be hard, watching you around him, when I know deep down you still love him… but I'll do it because I still love you."

I silence any doubts with a kiss and it seems right and final. And I close my eyes as I deepen it hoping that this isn't just the sunrise, or one of Bella's mood swings and that this kiss isn't goodbye.

* * *

_A.N OK so what did you guys think???? Chapter 7 may take longer to update... but i'll try to get it up soon because im leaving for a 2 week holiday on the 17th ... so hopefully i'll be able to post at least 2 chapters for you all._

_LOVE U ALL _

_-KATIE_


	7. 7: Clarity and ambiguity

_A.N: I would like to apoligise to all my readers for having such a gap between updates, however my computer broke down and I had to also go on holiday with my family. _

_well i hope you guys will forgive me for this late update. I promise the next won't be far away :)_

_love you all and my wonderful beta Steeph90_

_-Katie_

* * *

Quiet guardian

Chapter 7: Clarity and ambiguity

Edward's health was gradually getting worst each day.

"Bella, he needs help… more help then what we are able to give him."

"I know."

I watched as Bella's eyes once again began to fill with tears, I reached out; pulling her into my embrace, "Tomorrow, we are taking him to the hospital," I felt her sigh and nod her head against me, as I said what she had been thinking, "He will forgive you, I'll tell him it was my idea … it was all my idea."

I picked up Bella's worn out body and carried her over to my bed, I carefully put her down and pressed my lips to her forehead, before leaving my room and walking towards hers.

Edward lay, body facing the ceiling, as he took in his shaky breaths. I made my way over and stood by the side of the bed. "Edward…" he turned, immediately breaking into a smile.

"Emmett, for some reason I thought you were mad at me, you aren't are you?"

I took a breath or two before I replied, "No," plastering on a fake grin, "why would I be?"

Edward began to chuckle for a bit, before being interrupted by one of his coughing fits. I leant over, fixing up his pillow and allowing him to sit up a bit more. "Look Edward, I'm taking you to the hospital tomorrow…"

"Emmett, there is no need for any of that…"

"No, can't you see this isn't about you Edward, Bella needs to see that your getting better, otherwise she isn't well either."

I watched as Edward sighed out and began to think about what I just said , "Your right, I should be doing anything to help Bella, I'll go."

I began to make my way out of the room before I found myself turning back curious, "So how did you do it."

"Do what?

"Become human."

"Oh… it wasn't anything extravagant… just a set of pills, you start off with 100 black ones; which you have to take 4 a day… they begin to make you lose your abilities. Then you move on to 60 red ones which you take 3 a day, you begin to lose your appetite for blood and gain one for human food, and last are the yellow ones I've got to take 2 everyday, they keep my body human and allow me to get old and to get sick… brilliant really."

Edwards explanation, hadn't at all been what I had thought it would be like, the progress of becoming human, well for some reason my mind had thought it up as this big ceremony or something and lastly his answer had if possible left me more confused about the whole situation then before.

"Brilliant." He said again, maybe this time more for himself then me, as I made my way out of Bella's room.

But after seeing Bella's reaction to Edwards sick and slowly decaying body, brilliant wasn't the world I would use to describe this whole situation… not at all.

By the time we arrived at Port Angeles main hospital, Edward was shaking violently, as Bella; fighting back the tears, tried everything to get him to calm down. "It's ok Edward, we are nearly there."

I pulled into the ER drop off and told her to run in and get a doctor. It didn't take long to see 2 doctors run out and few interns close behind with a stretcher. Edward was lifted up onto the stretcher and rushed away into the ER.

I watched as Bella began to rock back and forth on her chair; something she always seemed to do when she was anxious about something, I wrapped a comforting arm around her only to have her bolt upright… the doctor was here.

"Mr Cullen and Miss Swan I presume?"

We both stepped forward, confirming his question. "Is Edward ok?"

"For now… do mind if you two come with me, I think my office is more suitable to place to discuss things with you two."

I took one look around at the crowded waiting room and nodded, holding on to Bella's arm forcing her forward with me to follow the doctor. It wasn't far from the ER and we could still hear the screams and yells from a pile up that had just arrived.

"Please take a seat."

I let go of Bella and watched her carefully as she shakily sat down, before I allowed myself to sit in tune with the doctor.

"I'm Doctor Carter and I want to talk about Edward's illness with you, actually all my doctors were shocked to find out his just got a cold."

Bella and I immediately turned to one another shock clearly written on all of our faces. "But how… his so sick."

"That we know Mr Cullen, but yet it's just a cold… it's like his whole immune system has never had to fight off any viruses before, has Edward ever been sick before?"

My mind flashed to when Carlisle had to change him because he was dying… but this was a new body and a new Edward… so I guess, "No he hasn't, not even a cold."

"Hmmm." I watched as he surveyed both of us suspiciously. Bella kept her head down, throughout our whole talk with Doctor Carter, which had felt more like a interrogation then a chat with a doctor. "So his going to be ok?"

Both Carter and I snapped our heads around, as Bella finally said something, "Well yes … like I said it's really only a cold… his body is just very weak and altogether worn out from fighting it, so I would suggest him to take it easy, maybe put him in a wheelchair for awhile so he can get around, without collapsing… then move on to some crutches as he gradually begins to build that muscle again and strength. I'd also like Edward to come here at least one day a week for some physio therapy… his body is like his be bedridden for months."

I told Bella to wait outside as I signed and made plans for Edwards therapy to begin. He wasn't going to like this at all, even as a human he was if not more stubborn then he had been when he had been a vampire.

I walked only to find Bella missing in action, my one guess was to find Edward, then I'd find Bella and I was right, there half lying next to Edward was Bella, crying into Edward's shoulder. I felt uncomfortable standing there watching what was in front of me, it was like a private or inmate moment being walked in on. It shouldn't have been like this, it should have been simple, Edward was her friend, my brother and Bella should have been able to hug him like that. She was worried, we were all worried.

"Edward we are taking you home… today" I watched as Bella snapped up at my voice, why had she reacted in such a way if what her and Edward had been doing was simple, because deep down I knew it wasn't, none of this was simple.

"See I told you guys nothing to worry about." Edward was talking more to Bella then me. I stepped out again before coming back in wheeling a wheelchair up to Edward's bedside.

"What is that?" Edward

"Well I know your human now, but I thought you would at least keep your intelligence, Edward it's a wheelchair."

Edward seemed to get angry with my teasing and snapped back, "I know what it is, I meant what is it doing here."

"Edward you've been lying in bed for months, eating hardly anything, your leg muscles are nearly all gone… you can't walk."

"Of course I can." Edward made to sit up, and I saw him struggling to find the energy to even do that. Bella pushed him back down.

"Don't be ridiculous Edward, your using the wheelchair and attending physio therapy until your able to walk again."

I watched as Edward reluctantly nodded his head, Bella's words were always so final to Edward… he always agreed (well human Edward did anyway).

Edward was one of the patients nurses and doctors had nightmares of, he hardly tolerated anything anymore, well only Bella seemed to be spared from his violent outbursts, Jacob who had given Bella and I a second chance seem to be regretting it every time he was over… Edward had decided he hated Jacob, when Jacob had accidentally let it slip that he had kissed Bella. I made sure to take him outside and repeatedly tell him, Edward does not know about Bella and I… and we want to keep it like that, until his at least feeling better.

Edward over the next few weeks while in his wheelchair, had overcome his 'cold' , but he was still glued to his chair. I decided to talk to his therapist which I had found out was his third one, the other two had quit, during one of many of Edward's violent outbursts.

"Edward is well, its like he doesn't want to ever walk again, there is nothing physically wrong with his spine or him, his just lazy."

I made sure to tell Bella about this, and sat grinning madly on the lounge room couch as Bella screamed at Edward. Charlie arrived home in the middle of the argument, and walked over sitting next to me. "Hmm maybe he will move out soon?" Maybe just a bit to much wishful thinking.

"Emmett I wanted to thank-you for tutoring Bella this past month, its good to see that she can get a chance to go to college."

"Actually I'm pretty happy at the fact that she now has a chance too, Bella was always quite smart." I watched as Charlie silently agreed to what I had just said, "I'm also happy that you and I are back on talking terms, you know I'm really sorry for the last few months Charlie."

Charlie clasped my shoulder with his hand, now use to my stone built, "I know, your like a son to me Emmett, I'm glad you're here."

I found myself smiling at Charlie's words, he wasn't exactly known for his sensitivity.

"Do you want a pizza? I'm sure Bella and Edward will be hungry after their argument."

I shook my head, "Actually I've just eaten, do you mind if I leave you with them, I want to see Jacob." Charlie shook his head, he after all like Jacob, as much as he liked me.

"Nope you have fun, drive carefully."

I called up Jacob's cell as I made my way over to my jeep.

"Hey Jake, did you want to catch up, ok sounds good, yep I'll meet you at the usual spot."

I got into the jeep and made my way down to the border, but the time I arrived Jacob was already out waiting for me.

"So how is everything, Edward still being annoying tool."

I laughed along with Jake, "If its possible, his getting worst… it's like he doesn't want to get better." Jake continued to walk towards the rocky cliff edge, finally sitting down next to me.

"So your graduating in 2 weeks, exited?"

"Yeah actually I am, it be good to finally get out of here you know." I noticed Jacob immediately look away, "I do expect you to visit you know?" Jacob was immediately smiling again, 'that's what I wanted to see, I couldn't deal with being around anymore sad people,' I pushed Jake's shoulder lightly.

"You didn't think I'd forget about you did ya?"

Jake just shrugged and avoided the question, "So what college you want to go too."

"Yale actually, always wanted to go there… already been to Harvard, Brown and Princeton." Next lifetime might try Dartmouth. I watched as Jacob chuckled and shook his head.

"Sometimes it's easy to forget your centuries old." I joined in laughing along with him.

"I know sometimes even I forget it."

It felt good being here with Jake, there was no Edward… or any other problem that had come up now that he was back, it was just two best friends having a laugh. It was like life had once again become simple again, and oh it felt good.

Jake and I had stayed out for the next few hours before eventually saying that we'd catch up next weekend and drove off, back towards our lives and our troubles.

I made my way up to my bedroom, where I was surprised to find a piss off Bella waiting, "Where the hell have you been?"

"I was with Jake, didn't Charlie tell you?"

"No I haven't talked to Charlie all night, Edward and I only an hour ago finished our fight, Charlie was a sleep by then."

"Wow that was a long fight, you must be exhausted."

"Emmett this isn't something to joke about."

"I know I'm sorry." I wasn't really, it seem silly how much Bella could fight with Edward, yet act as if nothing had been different the next day. I was pretty sure tonight would be no different and her and Edward would be the same tomorrow.

Bella sighed and made move to my bed, "No your not, I guess your right… me and Edward fighting like this nearly every night is rather stupid."

I sat down next to her, "It's just that his not doing anything to get better, yes his finally able to eat solid food, but he hasn't even tried to move on to crutches."

"If you want I can talk to him?" I really didn't want to, but after seeing the smile I got from Bella for suggesting my help, it did seem worth it.

I made my way towards Bella's room, where Edward sat in his wheelchair, staring out at the night sky. I walked up beside him and watched as he jumped a bit surprised I had snuck up on him. "It's weird to forget I don't have those senses anymore, that people can now sneak up on me."

I nodded, not really listening, "Look Edward, your going to physio tomorrow and your going to try to get better, your hurting Bella by not trying and I can't allow you do that anymore, ok?"

"I know, I'm sorry… I guess I'm just being stubborn, it's the only thing that I still have from my vampire life, besides Bella," I cringed slightly, "that makes me feel like I'm still me I guess, apart from being no longer a monster… sorry," I just shrugged it away, "I never really thought I would no longer, feel like myself, I guess I just don't want to lose being me."

It did kind of make some sense, but I hated to agree with him, even before I had found myself hating him. "So you'll try harder?"

"I promise."

"Good." I made to leave, to me that had been final, but Edward he didn't think we were done.

"So Emmett how you been?"

"Are ok I guess."

"You happy your back in forks."

What was this 20 questions?

"Sure I guess."

"So why did you come back, I mean we haven't exactly talked about why you were living here when I returned."

So now it made sense, he was just as curious about me as I was about him. I decided honesty was the best.

"You left her, we all left her to rot here by herself, I had to see that she was ok."

"But why did you have to be the one to come back." Edward was no longer facing the star filled sky, he had turned to me his eyes, showing nothing more but confusion and more questions needing to be asked.

"Because no one else did." I made sure to say every word, as harshly as I mean it to be said, he wanted me to be honest … so that's what I was going to be.

I watched as his Adams apple began to move up and down violently, he was aching and it pleased me. I made my way back out of the room, I didn't want to see him cry… he was pathetic and I wasn't going to waste anymore time on him.

I made my way back towards my room, where Bella was sitting anxiously on my bed.

"So…"

"His going to try harder."

I felt immediately guilty as she kissed me, wrapping her arms around my neck, "Thank-you so much." I mealy nodded, getting rewarded for basically hurting Edward didn't seem right, but Edward still telling Bella he loved her wasn't right, neither was Bella spending every free moment with Edward hugging him or whispering things; that I felt not inclined to listen in on, I guess a lot of things in the past few weeks didn't feel right.

So as I found myself lying next to Bella's sleeping form, I started thinking when things would start to feel right again, and would they ever would.

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_A.N: Thanks to all who read, i hoped you enjoyed this chapter and i hoped i was able to answer a few questions. _

_p.s listen to the song lullaby - the spill canvas (take the song in both Emmett/Edward/Bella's POV) trust me u know which parts a which, i believe the song really somes up this chapter. _


	8. 8: Our sweet consequences

_A.N: OMG did i mention how much i love you guys.... we now hit the 100 review mark woot and we arn't even halfway through yet (i hope that pleases you guys)._

_I liked to thankyou all, plus my beta Steeph90. _

_now on with the chapter._

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Quiet Guardian

Chapter 8: Our Sweet Consequences

I peered up from my test paper, searching for Bella, my eyes soon found hers; it was their only destination lately… they knew the way, and I allowed myself to break into a grin as she smiled back. I knew this was just as easily for her as it was for me, we both knew all we could about Quileute Indian's legends… thanks Jacob.

Edward was at therapy a lot lately, so Bella agreed to take her finals at school, and I couldn't help but smile at that… more time with Bella.

"Wow that test was hard." Mike announced at lunch, I watched as most of a group agreed, "What did you think Bella?" I knew Mike was saying just about anything to get a word in with Bella.

"Actually it wasn't that bad, Emmett and I have a friend who is actually a descendent of the Quileute Indians." I nodded and took a bite of my apple, it was easy getting use to eating this junk.

"Really that's so cool." trust Angela to be the only one not thinking that we might of found a way to cheat the test.

"So anyone hear from any of their perspective colleges."

I had gotten into Yale, along with all my other choices, but I hadn't told Bella yet because I wasn't sure where she was going, and I knew she wouldn't let me give up my dream to attend Yale next year to go to any college with her.

"Well actually I got my acceptance letter to Yale a few weeks ago." I spun around, yes I hadn't dreamed Bella had just said what I had been hoping for.

"Bella I got into Yale too." It was like everyone else had disappeared as I pulled her close, ignoring the fact that she doesn't at all like PDA and kissed her… god that felt good.

"That's great guys," We pulled apart smiling goofily at Angela and annoying Mike's death stare, "I found out a few weeks ago I got into Harvard."

Bella and I moved over bringing her into a group hug, it had been a long time since we had all been this happy, it felt really good. I kissed Bella again, while still hugging Angela, and anyone who had just jumped in. "Isn't someone being sneaky today." I smiled and pressed my lips against her cheek.

"I'm just happy that's all, there's nothing wrong with that is there?"

"No definitely nothing wrong with that."

The next night Charlie held us a party, to celebrate our finals being finally over and also our acceptances into Yale. Jake was both happy and upset, but after taking a full hour to assure him that we will visit and we do expect him to visit the both of us, we were finally able to celebrate and that we did. Because for once this day and night wasn't about Edward it was about us; Bella and I, and it was about our future.

"To the future!!!" We all laughed as we fell down onto the ground in my room, Jacob had managed to sneak in some beers and along with the alcohol I had easily attained with one of my old ID's, we had enough alcohol in our systems to be feeling the effect, well everyone but me, but watching Bella and Jake drunk was enough for me not to feel left out and have fun.

"Come on guys lets play truth or dare." We all clapped our hands happily at Jake's suggestion, because at the time, it seemed like the best thing to be doing.

"Emmett you go first."

I put my finger up on my chin and announced out loud that was thinking, "Hmmm Jake truth or dare?"

"DARE!!!!" Both Bella and I laughed as we tried shushing Jacob who was talking volumes louder then he should be.

"I dare you to…"

"Can I play?" I found myself holding back a growl, great Jacob's cousin Nicole; annoying as her infatuation of me since her stay this past week had been, I couldn't help but sigh with relief that it hadn't been Edward who had wanted to join in.

"Sure why not the more the merrier right guys?" Bella and I didn't seem to convinced but agreed anyway, she was Jake's cousin and we didn't want him finding out that Bella and I didn't exactly meet eye to eye with his views on his cousin.

Jake handed her a bottle, which she swallowed a large amount quickly, "What? I'm just making sure I'm catching up with you all."

"Ok I'll go first.."

"Actually Nicole, I was already…"

"I don't care, Bella truth or dare." Bella who had been taking another large skull from her drink tore it away from her mouth causing a bit to run down her chin, which she quickly wiped away.

"Uhh dare I guess, may as well get it over and done with right?"

"Whatever, Ok I dare you to kiss Jake."

"What NO!!!" To my relief I found both Jake and Bella saying in sync.

"Come on its just a game, it's not like Bella's dating anyone right?" I tried not to let my emotions give me away, the last thing we needed was Nicole finding out that Bella and I were dating and running off to tell Edward; who she had heard had dated Bella last year.

"…well no."

"Ok well there's no problem then, come on kiss."

I watched painfully as Bella and Jacob made to position themselves, awkwardly placing hands on shoulders before snapping them back to rest them on arms, then slowly licking their dry lips as there lips came closer to the others, it took another few minutes to make sure that they were both going in the right direction before their lips finally met and I felt my dead heart die again.

There was clearly no spark, no unresolved sexual tension between the two, yet it still hurt to see them like that, awkwardly tangled with one another.

Eventually they broke apart, neither looking me or one another in the eye, bad mistake Nicole immediately saw what we had been trying to hide face breaking into a grin, I feared for when it came for her turn again. We made it around the circle, without anymore embarrassing tasks having to be done and finally what I had been fearing the last 5 minutes was here, it was Nicole's turn again.

"Truth or Dare Emmett?"

"Truth," hah she never be able to prove I'm actually lying.

"Nope you have to do dare, you chose truth on your last turn."

Oh why did I waste that, "Well why did you even ask me if I had to do a dare?"

"It's how the game is played Emmett."

"Ok whatever, what's my dare?"

"I dare you to kiss Bella." Her smile was two confident and allowed myself to bite down on my lip nervously.

"What no arguments and I thought you said you liked them equally Bella." I watched as Bella turned angrily to Nicole.

"Why you…"

"It's ok Bella its just a game we don't have to do anything we don't want to do." I announced getting myself ready to just walk out and leave.

"Yes Bella Emmett's right you don't have to kiss Emmett if you don't want to, but I think the both of us know that you do want to, don't you Bella."

"What does Bella want to do?" All of us turned around shocked, well except Nicole, she seemed if not more pleased then she had been a few moments ago.

"You're on crutches." Edward grinned as Bella jumped up and clumsily made her way over to where Edward was leaning against his crutches.

"Yep, my therapist says it won't take me long till I'm able to walk again."

"That's real great Edward." Bella hugged Edward lightly before using the door frame to lean on.

"Oh that's not all, I got more good news." Well of course there had to be more, I mean this was Edward we were talking about. "I was able to finish off my finals and I got my acceptance to Harvard, Princeton, Brown, Dartmouth and Yale, and of course after finding out you and Emmett got into Yale, I of course decided to tell them I will also be attending college their next year too."

I watched as my plans for spending next year with Bella came crashing down around me, could nothing ever be fair. I felt Jacob's warm hand clap the back of my shoulder, he was thinking along the same lines.

"So anyway enough about me, what is it Bella that you want to do."

"Kiss Emmett." There it was Nicole's freaking big mouth, about to get her involved in something, even I was sure she wasn't ready for.

"Nicole, actually Bella and I are together." Nicole's smile faltered, I knew right now she was thinking she had been wrong, ok so maybe this wasn't going to end bad.

"No we're not."

Edward's confident smile faltered, as Bella's words seemed to echo around my small room.

"What?" Edward looked more confused then angry.

"Edward you left, and the things you said to me that day I don't think I'll ever be able to fully forgive you for saying them. Edward we can be friends, but I'm sorry that's all we can be." I watched in amazement as Bella confessed to Edward how she really had been feeling since he returned, hurt and unforgiving.

"Bella, I said those things so you wouldn't follow us, so you could move on."

"Well it took me along time to move on, and your words had nothing to do with it." Oh god would she mention my help in helping her move on… this could turn ugly. But she doesn't and I'm not sure if I'm relieved or disappointed.

"I think I'm going to get Emmett to drive me back home now." I watched as Bella said nothing in reply. "Emmett could you give me a lift back to our old house?" I looked over at Bella making sure she was ok with this, she gave me a short nod of approval and I went to help Edward pack.

The car ride had so far been made in silence, which worked for me I didn't want to get involved in this whole Edward/Bella mess. Especially when my brain kept telling me I was already involved.

"Emmett?" I sighed I knew he wanted to talk.

"Hmm?" Maybe he would take that as a sign that I didn't want to talk.

"Do you think Bella was telling the truth before; that she can't see herself forgiving me ever, or was she still pissed off with me about our fight the other night." I guess not.

"I really just don't want to get involved in all this Ed."

"Come on Emmett, you came back only a few weeks after we left, you can tell me if she still loves me." I rubbed a hand over my face, as I contemplated my answer.

"I really don't think it's a question if she still loves you; I part of her will always love…"

"Then why weren't she give me… us a second chance?" I sighed out again, wondering if he had lost some of his intellect during the transformation or he was just being naïve.

"Like I was saying before you interrupted me, it's not a question if she still loves you. It's a question if she can still trust you." I pulled into the garage and turned the jeeps motor off. We both sat there for a moment staring off into nothing, thinking about the same person… Bella.

"Look do you want a hand with this?" Edward's head snapped up at my question.

"No I've got it."

"Ok, well…" I scratched the back of my head avoided his gaze, "I better get back."

"Sure."

I watched as Edward stumbled about with his crutches and duffle bag, I felt horrible sitting here doing nothing to help, but I knew if I offered to help he would just turn me down again. After Edward successfully found his balance with his crutches and bag, I pulled out of my old garage and drove back towards what felt more like home then where I had just been moments ago.

I pulled back onto the road adjacent the house, locking the jeep I walked back into the house, saying goodbye to a few guests who were leaving as I entered. I saw Jake had already left and after thanking Charlie I made my way up to Bella's room.

Bella sat on the end of the bed staring at nothing, I coughed a bit to announce my arrival and bit back a laugh as she jumped; all ways so jumpy.

"You're back?" I noticed immediately that she seemed shocked that I was here, I found myself frowning a bit at her words.

"Yeah why wouldn't I be?"

I noticed her bite her lip and rock back and forth nervously, "I just thought you might want to stay with Edward."

I made my way over and sat down next to her, wrapping my arm around her shoulders, "Bella my home is here now, I won't leave you."

I kissed the nape of her neck and smiled as she giggled and pushed me lightly away. "That tickles Em." I was going to reply but Charlie's face peering in the door stopped me.

"Hey kids, I hope I'm not interrupting anything… and when I say that I mean that." I laughed as he put on a fake glare as he looked over at me, but stopped laughing when I realised he wasn't joking.

"Nope we were just talking." Bella announced, although she didn't move to put any believable space between us.

"Right." I could tell he didn't believe us.

"Well anyway kids just wanted to say goodnight and congrats again, I'm really proud of you both." I watched as Charlie left, only to return seconds later, "Oh I forgot Emmett someone called for you when you were out before."

"Who?"

"No idea, they said though that they would catch up with you soon, that I didn't need to get there phone number." I was just as confused if not more now about who could have called.

"Ok thanks Charlie."

"No problem, now bed for you both, I can see you both look like your going to collapse." I found myself grinning a bit about the fact that I looked tired.

"I'll see ya in the morning then Bells, like Charlie said I'm exhausted," I managed a fake yawn and a wink, which made Bella let out a small laugh. Squeezing her shoulder gently I left her and Charlie to say goodnight and made my way to my room.

I waited a few hours to make sure Charlie was indeed asleep, before sneaking outside for a bit of a midnight snack, only to find a familiar scent in the air. " No it couldn't be."

I raced through the forest whipping past trees and animals in my path, before finally arriving in a small clearing where a lone figure stood with there back facing me.

"Hello Emmett, told you we would catch up soon."

I knew who it was even before they had spoken all turned around, I could never forget that scent or that voice.

"Hello Rosalie."

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_A.N: I liked to thank-you all who read this chapter and the next one isn't far away :D:D_

_-Katie_


	9. 9: Façade

_A.N : Wow because i love you guys so much... why now reward u all with another chapter :D:D_

_I am really enjoying writing this story._

_I hope you guys enjoy reading this chapter as much as i enjoyed writing it._

_Disclaimer: oops been forgetting to write these... i don't own twilight or anything related to it. _

_Now on to the story :D:D_

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Quiet Guardian

Chapter 9: Façade

She was back.

Blonde hair that cascaded down her back, which I use to long to put my hands through, linking them and entwining them into the golden tendrils and hoping never to let go.

But that was a long time ago, and I had let go.

"What are you doing here?"

She stepped forward, manoeuvring herself inches away from my face, her breath was close enough to taste, I stepped back.

"What are you doing back here?" This time I made sure she heard, grasping her wrist with my hand, pulling her towards me.

"Oh Emmett don't worry I'm not interested in breaking up you and Bella's … well whatever you call it." I stared back shocked.

"What… wait how do you know?"

"When you left Emmett, I waited a few weeks before following you… your sent was still as strong as the day you left it, it led me right to you." I watched as Rosalie smelt the air and muttered to herself, "You were always so rich… like dark chocolate really, I use to love dark chocolate. Anyways like I was saying I followed you and wasn't I surprised to find you in bed with the human… maybe she just loves to be with vampires."

"SHUT UP, SHUT UP." I couldn't take anymore of Rose's teasing. I watched as she threw her head back and laughed.

"Oh Emmett you always were quite the defender weren't you. Now, now I didn't come to tear you two apart, actually I always speculated that you had a small crush on her."

"It's not like that."

"Oh whatever, Emmett I don't care I came back because truth is I missed you."

I watched her, trying to work out if she was just teasing again or if she really did miss me and if she wasn't teasing what did this all mean.

"Emmett, when did you become such a thinker. First things first, I'm not teasing you and second, when I said I missed you I didn't mean like that, I meant as a friend."

"Oh."

"You sound disappointed."

"No it's not like that, it's just… well we were never really friends were we?" I watched as her lips gave a small twitch, forming her passive lips into a smirk.

"I guess not. But I'm willing to try if you are?"

I took my time thinking it over, I guess I had always liked Rosalie, and I guess nothing could really be bad with us being just friends again.

"Ok we'll try." I gave a small smile, which she soon returned and together we left to go hunt.

We spent all night sitting up on my bed catching one another up on recent events, since my leaving. I found out Rose had left shortly after and had followed my scent back to forks where she had spent a few days watching Bella and I interact. She then left to go and meet up with some old friends in Venice, where she had stayed until returning back to forks where she met me again in the forest. By the time the sun had well risen, I could tell that us being friends had a real chance, that we could really pull it off.

"I guess we never really tried being friends before."

"Yeah we were always to busy…"

"Yep." We fell into a few rounds of laughter after that.

"Do you think if we had done it the other way, I mean being friends first that it could of worked out."

"I don't know… maybe." Truth was I didn't know.

Rose was quiet after that, I felt a need to console her and to tell her it didn't really matter, we were here now. I let my hand brush against her shoulder and watched her eyes meet mine, I let a smile creep on to my face and watched as her lips soon form one too.

"It doesn't matter about what could have been, we here now together, isn't that enough?"

"Maybe with someone else no, but with you I'm willing to believe it is." Rose's words said by anyone else, would have led to more confusion, but because of the way she had said them, I understood exactly what she meant. A new beginning, new hope, who knew Rose could be so poetic.

"Edward's back."

I watched as Rose spun around to meet my gaze, "What… no I would of smelt him."

"No you wouldn't have." I continued when I noticed her confusion. "His human."

Rose let out a loud gasp, "What… how?"

"His taking these pills."

I watched as Rose turned around muttering to herself, maybe she was contemplating going to ask him where she could get some, I always knew how much she wished she was human. It scared me to think that she might consider this and I would lose her too.

"What you thinking about Rose?" I needed to know.

"Uhh I have to go, I'll catch up with you later Em." Just as she was about to leave I reached at my hand, grasping her wrist and stopping her.

"Rose, please don't do this, this isn't life, it's death you get when you take those pills."

"You can't say that, the chance to of having a child; that to me is life and I would rather give up a lonely eternity to spend one lifetime human." I let go of her wrist, realising as I did I was letting go of yet another friend.

My curtains blew back and forth as Rose disappeared out my window and started running in Edward's direction. I fell back on my bed exhausted, which was weird because I knew it wasn't possible that I could be. I closed my eyes, trying to clear everything out of my head and just think of Bella, but that of course led to thoughts about Edward, which led to thoughts about Rose becoming human and I realised I was back to square one again.

And that's when I began to think, that if I could dream, close my eyes and let the magic take over and I would dream of a world where Bella only loved me and Edward and Rose were still my best friends. But I couldn't dream and my currant reality showed little of that dream ever coming true.

I knew I didn't have long and it was probably the one of most selfish decisions I'll ever make, but I couldn't let her do it, so I ran after… knowing I would catch up, I was faster.

"Emmett, what are you doing?" Rose managed to pull up inches from where I had raced to block her path.

"Stopping you, you can't do this."

"You don't have any right to say that anymore Emmett." The truth was I didn't. "Give me one good reason why I should stay a vampire and I'll think about it."

I paused trying to pull something amazing out of my head to stop her, but nothing came.

"See… there isn't anything good about being what we are…"

"Just don't do it yet, please give me at least a day to think of something." I could tell Rose didn't want to, but a small part of her still wanted to listen to me, she was trying her best to be my friend.

"Fine one day, but that's it ok."

I smiled a bit relieved she had given me a chance to change her mind, and after a quick goodbye I made my way back home. I had a lot of thinking that needed to be done.

I was lying face down on my mattress, trying to think of reasons being a vampire was better then human, sure we could run real fast and had incredible strength, but they were all reasons I loved being a vampire not Rosalie. I tried to re-call a time where Rose had said she liked being a vampire, but I came up blank… she never had.

"Emmett, what are you doing."

I turned my head to the side to see Bella standing there with a small smile on her face.

"Thinking."

"About what?" I watched as she began to make her way over to my bed and I realised right now honesty was the best thing at this moment.

"Rose came back." I watched as her smile fade from her face, maybe she was finally beginning to feel like I had felt when Edward came back.

"Oh."

"And I told her about Edward and now she wants to become human. I've got to stop her."

"Why?" I didn't understand why Bella didn't get it.

"Why… Because she'll just become what Edward is now. Taking those pills Bell's doesn't give you life, it gives you death."

"But it's not your choice it's hers, so why do you care so much?"

"The same reason you still care so much about Edward." I watched as she nodded and started to leave, I didn't say anything to stop her, because truth was I was glad she was gone.

I got out a pen and paper, writing on one side pro's and on the other con's and ruled down a line to separate them both. I spent the next few hours writing down on the list and by the time I was finished, the con's were defiantly out waiting the pro's, however one note that I had scribbled to the side of the paper stood out and I realised that was my only chance of saving her.

Rose stood where I left her hours ago, just letting the cool air sweep by her. She turned around, without me having to speak, she knew I was there.

"So, lets have it."

My sudden confidence faltered and I realised my one good reason for her staying a vampire had vanished from my very thoughts.

"Uhh…" I was stuttering to find something to replace it, but nothing came and I watched her start to move away.

"Because I don't want you too." It was selfish and I knew it wasn't really a reason at all, but it made Rose stop, which I was relieved for.

"That's a very selfish thing to say."

"I know, but I don't want you to become human if it means I might lose you." I watched as she stepped closer to me and eventually reached out putting her hands on my face.

"Are you asking for me to spend eternity with you Emmett?"

"Yes." It was a lie, and I realised what it meant by saying it, it meant I was letting go of everything I had built since I came back to forks… it meant I was letting go of Bella.

"What about Bella?"

"I was just looking out for her, she just another human." But she wasn't, she was so much more and I was letting her go. What was I doing?

"Ok then… I won't do it." Her lips came down to rest on mine, and I had to pretend that was what I wanted and kiss her back. While deep down, I felt as if I was being ripped in half.

What had I done?

****

"Bella."

I watched as she opened her eyes, "Emmett?"

"Yeah."

Bella slowly sat up from her bed, hair a mess from having tossed and turned through the night without me by her side. It was for the best, I kept telling myself you don't want Rose to become human.

"I'm leaving."

I watched as once again tears began to leak out from her eyes, but this time I made no move to comfort her.

"I moving back in with Rose and Edward, I love them and I miss them." I watched her as recognition began to spread over her beautiful tear streaked face.

"You love them. Emmett do you still love Rose… the same way as you use to?" It was hard for her to say and I struggled not to tell her I didn't really as she chocked on a her words.

"Yes." I realised than that Edward hadn't meant anything he had said that day, he was just doing what I was doing now, making sure she wouldn't see that I was still in love with her and that I wanted nothing more but to hold her in my arms again.

It was all just a elaborate façade, that we hope she wouldn't see through… and she didn't and I watched her cry out, "But I love you." It took every effort not react and tell her that I still loved her too, that every moment I wasn't with her as much as it hurt (especially when I knew she still loved Edward) that I thought of her.

"I don't love you."

The words spilt from my mouth easier then I thought they would and I tried to remember that's what I wanted. I watched as she pathetically tried to reach out to stop me, like she was able to and I tried to fight off the lump in my throat which was forming by watching her attempt to keep me here with her. It was everything I would have done, if she had told me she wanted to be with Edward and she still loved him, if that had happened a few days ago things would be different and I would be the one pleading for her to stay… to stay with me. But things weren't different and I had to focus on finishing this and making my decision final.

"What your doing is pathetic, did you do this with Edward beg for him to stay too." It was harsh and I watched as Bella reacted to it, it was like I slapped her right in the face and with my vampire strength too. She was to wounded to reply and I took this moment to leave, walking slowly over to the window; apart of me knowing when I left I wouldn't be able to come back again. I turned around and looked at her, wishing then if things had happened differently that we would still be together, but I shook those thoughts quickly from my head there was really no point in being a optimistic in this world in which the only way to keep my friend from doing something that would lead to her death, was to break up with Bella.

"Of course, I'll always love you… in a way." If I knew then, that was what Edward had said just before he disappeared from her world too, I probably wouldn't have said it or maybe I would have because I knew then in Bella's eyes that she hated me; almost as much as I hated myself, and that they would be no second chances, because I had done what I promised never to do, I had left and I done it exactly as he had.

With no real goodbye, no chance to talk things over, no real explanation on how I had suddenly got to this point where leaving was the only answer.

I had just left.

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_A.N ok now i know heaps of you will hate me... but this is an angst story to and promise you will all enjoy the next chapter (well maybe.) Keep reading I love you all _

_-Katie_


	10. 10: Unsaid BS: Numb

_A.N: Ok i just wanted to say thanks for all the reviews... i'm glad you are all enjoying this story._

_Now this chapter is M... so anyone who doesn't want to read that, please just skip over it when your reading it. _

_Oh and please forgive any small mistakes, my beta is taking a break :D:D - Steeph90 :)_

_I hope you enjoy this chapter._

_-Katie_

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Quiet Guardian

Chapter 10: Unsaid (Bella's story: numb)

I sat; not moving, barely breathing where he left me.

I was thinking, it should have been easier… it had happened before and I hadn't known Emmett as long as I'd known Edward, we hadn't been through as much as Edward and I had; but the ironic thing is, we probably had.

Jake was the one to find me, looking empty and still wandering why this was hurting more then before, that's when it hit me a small part of me had always imagined Edward leaving me, but with Emmett some how I thought he wouldn't have ever left. I fell into Jakes arms crying and mumbling, "His gone, his gone."

"Who Edward?"

"Emmett."

Jake froze in my arms, and I realised he too was losing someone close to him, he brought me closer to him after that and pressed his lips to my forehead, "We'll be ok, you will be ok."

A part of me should of felt comfort in his arms, but I felt nothing… only numb.

*****

The Cullen's came back a week later (For Emmett's graduation).

I had expected them to know about Edward's condition and what had happened between Emmett and I, and I watched as they tried to support Edward; who was struggling to walk with his crutches on the grass, I watched as he argued against them and stumbled through the crowds to wear their seats had been labelled. Everyone looked around shocked at what happened to Edward, and how he no longer looked part of the Cullen family. I felt nauseas after I realised, that must have been how I looked compared to them.

Jake wrapped his arm around me, as he noticed where my stares had been directed.

"Here."

I felt something be slipped into my hand, and I tried to turn around to see who had given it to me, however I couldn't see anyone. I slowly opened it to reveal and invitation, inviting Jake and I to the Cullen family graduation party. I looked around at everyone else's shocked faces at the invitation, they had all obviously been invited too.

"We don't have to go if you don't want too."

I shook my head, obviously everyone else was going to be attending and I didn't want to be the only one left out, plus even though I hated to admit I needed to see him.

"No, we'll go."

He kissed my cheek and I sighed into it, we had been hugging and kissing a lot lately, although both of us knew it didn't mean what a simple onlooker would have guessed, I needed this comfort to keep myself going and Jake would do anything to make me better, so it was simply just something we did… a lot.

I tried hard not to look for Emmett, while I sat waiting to go up to receive my certificate, but a part of me ached to see him and every moment I got; I pretended I had a scratch or need to stretch looking over my shoulder or to my left or right. I eventually spotted him just before his name was called, and I watched him get up easily and walk by me as if I didn't exist, he accepted his award smiling over at his family, at Rose and I felt as if he had left again.

It finally got to the S's and I swallowed back the lump in my throat as I walked up to the stage. I tripped on the way up and my friends all laughed; not in a mean way, but more like 'That's our Bella.' I smiled at them and made a joke about my clumsiness, which everyone seemed to find funny which I was relieved for. Just before I got off the stage, I looked over at Jake who winked at me, I held back a laugh and smiled in his direction. That was when I heard it, a small growl and I snapped my head looking for Emmett, but he was lip locked with Rose and I realised the growl was from Edward… and a small part of me was disappointed.

*****

Jake arrived around seven to pick me up and I couldn't help but stare, he had really gotten dressed up, and wait had he got a hair cut.

"Nice Jake, very nice." I laughed as he spun around and ran up to meet me, grabbing me by the waist and spinning me round.

"You don't look to bad yourself missy."

Charlie came out and I realised by his guilty face that he had been talking to Emmett again, I knew I should be, but deep down I wasn't upset that they still talked.

"Bella…you look…very nice." I looked down at my dress, it was a deep blue and came up to my knees, it also allowed a nice bit of cleavage to show through, I would be lying if I said I wasn't trying to make Emmett notice me.

"Ok ready to go."

Truth was I wasn't and I wasn't sure when I ever would be, but I needed to see him and so I said.

"Yes."

*****

We pulled outside of the Cullen house, where already the whole school's cars were parked, the party was safely under way, so hopefully we could enter unnoticed by the other Cullens.

Our plan worked amazing well, as we were able to enter without any interruptions and make our way over to the refreshment table. Jake immediately shoved a series of snacks down his throat, while I poured as both a punch, which had been clearly spiked. Mike and Tyler were the first to come to mind.

"Bell's yove hagg tob tryff thidd," Jacob try to shove something into my hands, but I was too distracted by who had just walked into the room to notice. There stood Emmett, holding Rose closely to his side looking off in the distance, at nothing in particular. He was dressed in a simple black and white ensemble, but I felt my knee's get weak. And then although I had been expecting for him to finally look at me, I felt my breath be taken away when he finally did. He looked up at me, eyes finally locking on mine and a smile breaking immediately on his face; dimples and all, and that was all it took for my body to move automatically towards him while my brain shouted me to 'stop and turn the other way.'

"Bella." He breathed it out, and it was like Rose and the others had faded away, and it was just me and him standing there alone… how it should be.

"Emmett." I had told myself, that I was going to pretend that I had moved on, that when he left me it hadn't hurt at all and I didn't want him back, but now that all seemed stupid and I wanted to kiss him; even when Rose was still standing by his side, and tell him how much I missed him and how much I needed him.

"Em…" But whatever I had to say I forgot, when I felt Jake wrap his arm around my waist. I watched, looking for any sign that Emmett was jealous, but he just kept grinning his goofy smile.

"So are you two together now."

I wanted to shout no on top of my lungs, and collapse into him and hold on to him for the rest of my short life. But Jake and I had decided, to tell everyone we were dating (although we weren't) it was all part of the plan to act as if I had moved on… the stupid plan.

"Yep." Emmett's brow creased slightly, but his smile didn't falter and I felt like my chest had been ripped opened again.

"I always knew you two would end up together." I tried my best to smile and lean into the kiss as Jake pressed one to my cheek gently. Emmett leant forward brushing a stray piece of hair behind my ear, catching me off guard and causing me to rely on Jake to keep me standing.

"Emmett can I talked to you for a second."

"Oh please excuse me, I'll be right back." I watched as Emmett was pulled away from us and pushed outside, where you could just make out Rose yelling at Emmett, through the glass windows. I was confused, Emmett hadn't done anything and I shook my head, I was starting to feel sick being this close to him again and having to see him look at me with such intensity, only to not react to any of Jake's advances on me. It hurt and I found myself, needing to leave.

"Jake do you mind if we go." I watched as Jake enviously looked over at the refreshment table, "It's ok you grab a couple more I'll go grab our coats."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, you said you put our coats down… in the guest room right?" Jake nodded and since I had, had some experience in the Cullen house, I should have no problem finding it.

I made my way up to the guest room and peered inside, it was dark but the small moonlight slipping in through the curtains, allowed me to see our coats. I ventured into the room, without turning on the light. As I made my way over stumbling a bit to reach the bed to find our coats, it was only when I kicked my toe, that I swore and wished I had turned on the light.

I stood, my back to the window, slowly breathing in and out fighting away the pain, although deep down I knew it wasn't just my toe that was aching. All of a sudden I took in a deep breath, as I felt two hands slowly wrap themselves around my waist and trace tiny circles with there long fingers. My first thought was Jake, but after realising how cold they were I realised, they could only belong to him… Emmett and I let myself sigh out in contempt.

Although I knew it was him, I bit back breathing out his name, I case it scared him off neither of us were meant to be giving in. The clouds must have covered the moon, because I could no longer see my hands or anything in front of me. I made a bold move, spinning around placing both my hands on his chest, but he didn't leave he just guided his hands to my face and moved me so I was only inches from his face. Our nose brushed lightly together and I couldn't hold back my relief as I sighed out, however he too sighed out covering my need for him with his own need. 'Screw the plan' I silently said to myself as I felt his lips come to rest on mine and everything that had happened the last few days, lay forgotten as I kissed him back.

We both kissed and grab one another's clothes like it was the last day we would ever have together and truth was it was. Both of us knew as soon as that cloud was gone, that whatever we were doing would have to stop.

I grip on his shirt got tighter after that, when it finally dawned on me that I would have to say goodbye. My kisses became more passionate and drawn out, wanting never to stop and never let go. He pushed me back against the bed, and eventually we ended up with him lying on top of me (carefully) and me lying against a few dozen coats. My mouth opens and it's a welcome relief as I feel his tongue venture in my mouth and begin to 'dance' seems the appropriate word with mine. He is more confident then Edward, doing stuff Edward would never allow himself to do.

My hands make there way, up and down his back as I allow my hips to shift slightly into him, causing him to moan out in relief. I felt him pressed his body against me, not enough to crush me, but enough to allow me to feel him hard against my thigh. His hands slip from my waist, as he kisses make there where down my neck, his hands move under my shirt coming to rest on my bra, I let out a small moan as I felt his cold hands begin to brush against my breasts. Oh how I need him now.

I shift my hips closer to him, rubbing against his firmness as press him further down towards me, I know now he knows with out me having to say anything, that I want and need him as much as he wants and needs this, so I soon hear the fumbling of hands, as he slides down his jeans and boxers, along with mine. I knew now, even though it was pitch black, that we were starring into each others eyes, waiting for one of us to stop and forget this ever happened. But neither us do, so I tried to hide my pain as he slid into me.

"Bella." He spoke and I realised, he was breaking the silent pact we agreed to… because he knew I needed to hear him as much as he needed to hear me.

He moves more quicker in and out of me, and I finally felt the pain leave, to be replace with … pure bliss. I moved my hands, so they were now gripping his hair as I pulled him down , his lips finding mine as we did nothing but kiss and let out moans in sync… it was perfect and beautiful.

I felt myself tighten around him as everything I had been thinking about faded away, only to replaced by love and pleasure. I soon heard him moan out as he collapsed on the bed beside me, with his last bit of energy.

His breathing was uneven and heavy when he said it, "I love you Bella." and I'm pretty sure mine was the same way when I replied.

"I love you too Emmett."

Our breathing quieted and he rolled over pressing kisses into my shoulder, trying to fill as little time we had left; the room was already beginning to get lighter, by spending as much time holding one another as possible.

I rolled over facing him and curling my semi naked body into his, "I don't want to say goodbye."

"I know, I don't want to either… but we have to… I'm back with Rose now and your with him." He couldn't say it and I finally realised why I couldn't either say Rose's name out loud, it hurt way to much.

"Emmett…" I wanted to tell him everything, that I was never over him and how much I wanted to fight for him. But in a blink of an eye the moon was back out and he was gone, through the window leaving me alone again. I slowly got up re-dressed, I could feel the tears threatening to tear me apart again and I tried to make it to the door but I couldn't, as I fell back onto the bed and cried out for him again.

"Bella is that you?" I recognised the voice immediately and tried my best to hide myself amongst the coats, but he found me and pulled me up into his arms and for the first time since he came back, I allowed myself to cry into his shoulder, I feel his hand come to rest on my cheek as his brushes away my hair.

"I know."

I choke on my own sobs as he announces it, but it's more out of shock about the way he reacts to the fact that Emmett and I were involved, then anything.

"I don't care, well I of course a part of me does, but I'm more angry with the fact that you got hurt again. I'm really am sorry Bella."

I sniffle and nod, finally understanding the kind of human Edward has become.

"I know."

"Bella are you in here?" I try to smile weakly as Jake turns on the light and makes his way over, but he isn't convinced and he knows immediately the cause isn't from the guy sitting beside me.

"Do you want a hand with her Jacob?"

Jake shakes his head, still trying to get his head around that he is no longer friends with Emmett and someone he use to hate, now is acting nice towards him.

I feel his hands encircle my waist pulling me up towards him, "Are you ok." I know the way he says it, he doesn't mean if I'm ok to make it to the car, he is worried if I'm going to be ok ever again. So I pretend I don't know what he really means and answer him with the easy answer.

"Yes."

Because I'm pretty sure the other one, I wasn't even ready to answer… because for the second time since he left, I didn't feel anything… there was no longer any more pain that could hurt me more then it already had, all I felt now was numb.

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A.N: Well was that ok? I hope so lol .... next chapter will be posted soon. Thank-you.

- Katie


	11. 11: Lies i've told

_A.N: Hi just wanted to thank everyone for reading last chapter and also reviewing (I try to always get back to you all) _

_I hope you all enjoy this chapter and sorry it took me awhile to write, i have just recently started uni. _

_-Katie_

_Disclaimer: I own nothing  
_

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Quiet Guardian

Chapter 11: Lies I've told

I don't know when it had started, but I do remember when I had started to notice it, the lying I mean. It must have been two weeks ago, Rose and I were lying together in bed and she was curled up against me, her fingers playing with my hair; what little of it I had.

"Emmett?"

"Hmm." I was prepared to answer another one of her pointless questions, am I beautiful? Does my hair look ok? Did my outfit look good on me today? But I wasn't prepared for this.

"Did you ever sleep with Bella, I mean have sex with her?" I knew I should tell her the truth, not when we did, just that we did. But part of me believed that moment was only for Bella and I, and telling Rose would just taint the wonderful memory I was barely still holding onto. So I lied.

"No."

Rose was satisfied and got up and left to go hunt, she knew I didn't hunt as much as I use too, so she didn't bother asking me if I wanted to come. Which I was relieved for, because truth was there was somewhere I wanted to go.

*****

I knew it was wrong, and probably sick. But I had to see her, so I followed her and Jake out of town to Port Angeles where I heard a Friday the 13th marathon was playing; Bella's favourite, she had gotten strangely addicted to horror movies since Edward left. I made sure to park a good few streets from the theatre before getting out and following them.

I sat at the back, between two young lovers who must have had a fight when they had gotten here, because I was told to sit between them, something I regretted from the moment the movie started. I sat watching Bella, who was probably the only one not screaming, and I tried to ignore Ben and Stacy; the young couple, fighting over me about the popcorn they had originally bought to share, when they had been on better terms.

I didn't turn my eyes away from Bella throughout the duration of the entire film, and by the time the film had ended I was so distracted from the very memory of how Bella had been chewing on the bottom of her lip, during a rather intimate scene… that I had seem to have yet to notice the film was over and a rather confused Bella was standing hovering over me.

"What are you doing here Emmett?"

I jumped a bit, and I had to look between where she had just been sitting, and where she stood now just to make sure she was really standing in front of me.

"Didn't you know I love horror films." I didn't, another lie to add to my rapidly growing list. I looked around, but I couldn't see Jacob anywhere, but before I could ask Bella seemed to read my mind.

"He excused himself from the movie, ten minutes ago."

"What to scary for him?" I watched her face break in to a smile, I allowed my own to join hers… it was beginning to feel like old times, if only it was… but it wasn't and we both stopped realising quickly what we were doing.

"I should be going." Then she stopped, turning around biting her lip; her addictive habit when she was nervous, "Emmett…"

Say something, anything to keep this moment going… but she doesn't and I strangely find myself furious even though I know this is all my fault.

"You know you look like hell… right?" She didn't… she was perfect, more perfect then I had ever seen someone look before. But to me that was hell, because she was the meat and I was the starving dog, I needed her, wanted her and all though I had never been addicted to anything before, I was pretty sure this is what I must feel like… her the cocaine and me the addict. Oh I wasn't even dead yet, but the torturing for the life I had chosen to live was already beginning and for a small moment Edward's pills were a temptation I wanted to get, but I shook the thought away and let my eyes re-connect with hers… but they only stared out into the empty cinema, she was gone.

*****

Carlisle

"How was your day?"

"Good." Lie.

Esme

"What you did you get up to today Emmett?"

"Went for a run." Lie.

Jasper

"Are you ok, I'm getting mix emotions from you…"

"I'm fine." Lie.

Alice

"So have you heard from Jake?" I knew she meant Bella.

"No." Lie.

Edward

"Seen Bella lately?" He wanted me to hurt, so I wasn't to surprise by his bluntness.

"No." Lie.

Rose

"I love you."

"I love you too." Lie.

*****

It was on the next day, after having lied to Esme again, that I decided I needed go talk to someone. So I made appointment with a small psychiatrist, in Seattle and I drove out there next morning.

*****

As I sat staring at the blank white walls that belonged to Dr Wallace; which were filled with photographs of random landscapes and words such as Confidence and Determination, I found myself pondering two things… how on earth a sunset and a bird meant confidence and maybe being here wasn't exactly the best thing.

I could just kill her, but that mean I would have to kill her secretary as well, and she had been going on about how much she was looking forward to her trip to Barbados next week, I sighed looked like I was going to have to stay put. Just as I came to my conclusion, a women easily in her early thirties walked in taking a seat in front of me, and pulling out a pen and clipboard.

"Hi Emmett, it's nice to meet you I'm Dr Wallace, but please feel free to call me Susan." She smiled, although I knew this was how she started with all her new patients.

I smiled a little, and watched as she scribbled something down on her piece of paper… what had I done all ready?

"So Emmett, you came here to talk, what seems to be on your mind?"

This time I knew I couldn't lie, I did come here for this reason didn't I?

"I've been lying a lot lately."

I watched her nod her head and scribble some more down on her page, "Lying well Emmett, has something happened lately in your life to make you feel as if lying is the only way out." I watched her and realised she had a look of concern on her face.

"Oh no nothing like that… I kind of been dating this girl for awhile now, and we recently broke up." Dr Wallace seemed to like what I had just said, scribbling down madly on her piece of paper.

"And so the lying started after you broke up with her?" I frowned, isn't that just what I said.

"Well yeah, Its mainly because I broke up with her because I really didn't have a choice." She nodded, although I figured she just summed it all up as strict parents etc.

"And now you just don't see any point to be honest?"

She seemed to sum it up better then I ever could, so I was almost relieved to breathe out, "Yes."

"Ok Emmett, I want you to do this thing me ok, after you leave here." I nodded although I had no real idea what I was getting myself into. "So its obvious, that you haven't been honest with your friends or …"

"Bella." It was harder then I thought it would be to say her name.

"And Bella… so I want you to start writing letters to Bella, now don't worry she never read these. I just want you to be honest about everything in the letters, there the one place you can't lie ok?"

It all seemed rather silly to me, and I was pretty sure I wasn't going to go home and write any, however I made sure to play my part and nod, which I noticed made her happy as she smiled when she wrote down her last few sentences. She told me she looked forward into seeing me next week, I tried to pretend I was coming back, but truth was I couldn't see myself doing that.

*****

**Dear Bella, **

**It's been a week since I last saw Dr Wallace and though I said I wouldn't write these stupid letters, I saw you today and something prompted me too. **

**You were with Jake (again) and you two were out grocery shopping just mucking around, Jake chucking random items at you. I watch as you laughed and tried to duck out of the way from Jake's attempts and although I realised I should be happy, that you had moved on (as it seemed that way) I couldn't help but feel… empty.**

**Emmett**

*****

"Edward." I watched as he stiffened, I guess he hadn't been expecting me to ever talk to him again. He turned around, not saying anything but accepting my presence.

"I was wandering… if the pills could be used for a bit, not long enough to make things permanent, but just to get a taste of being human again." I watched as he brow frowned, I guess he hadn't thought I would bring up this topic, especially when I detested the idea of them.

"I'm not an expert Em." It was weird to hear him say my old nickname again. "If your interested in finding out, I guess I could give you my contacts number." The way he said it, made it almost sound like we were involved with a illegal drug business, for all I know it probably was.

"Sure." I watched as he pushed past me, walking over to the desk in the corner of my room; where I had only moments been writing a letter to Bella, thankfully that was now in a box in my closet. I watched as he scribbled down the number on one of my spare pieces of paper I had left on the desk, he turned around walking back past me and out the door, stopping on for a second to turn back to face me.

"Look Em, I don't know what you are going to do… but this isn't a game those pills are serious and shouldn't be mucked around with." I nodded, although I wasn't sure if I believed him. But Edward seemed satisfied, and left me alone with my thoughts.

*****

**Dear Bella,**

**Tomorrow after a week of deciding whenever or not to go see Edwards 'friend', I'm finally going to go and check things out. Truth is I'm curious about it all, I may despise the idea of it, but I still want to learn as much as I can. **

**Nobody knows about the letters, I keep them in a box above my closet; a place Rose fears and will never go near (I make sure to keep all my sporting gear in there) . Edward announced that he saw you at the Yale orientation, I knew it was just to hurt me; but truth was I really couldn't feel anything. I went as well, but I didn't tell Edward, I went just to fulfil my simple chores before attending next year. Although I tried not to look for you, by the end of the day I couldn't help it and I went in search for you. I eventually found you lying down underneath a oak tree, a copy of Wuthering heights in your hand, I don't think you have ever looked so beautiful… I wanted to tell you that then, but I couldn't so I ran back home. **

**There are a lot of things I wish I could of told you then, or a few weeks ago, I think the main thing that I'm struggling to keep in is that I still love you. And I really do. **

**I love you.**

**Emmett **

*****

I pulled outside a dodgy looking house, just outside Port Angeles. It definitely looked like a crack house, so maybe I wasn't in the right place or maybe that was just it and I was. I walked over and knocked loudly on the splintered door.

"Anyone there?"

"Who is there?" I hoarse voice ripped through the tiny house.

"My names Emmett, I'm a friend of Edward." There was a long pause and I figured he probably had gone in search of his shotgun, so he could threaten me back into my jeep so I would leave. But there was a soft sound of locks being unlatched and the door in front of me opened.

"Come on in." I followed the voice into the darkness, where I was able to see a young man… not at all what I had expected shaking in a rocking chair in the back of the room, he was sucking on a cigarette like his life depended on it, as he directed me with his free hand to come into the room. I looked around the rooms dreary walls and floor, there was no place for me to sit… but truth was I was happy where I was standing.

"So Emmett, you want what I gave your brother aye?"

"Uhhh… no actually I was just curious about them that's all." I watched as he drew in another deep breath, coughing out a chuckle.

"Sure sure."

"I was just curious if it was possible to try these pills, without completing the full deal." I wasn't sure if he was going to understand what I had said, after all he wasn't a vampire.

"Well, that's where it gets complicated, your brother's told you about the pill system I'm sure?"

"Yeah 100 black ones 4 a day, 60 red ones 3 times a day and finish off with the yellow ones which I'm sure you take 2 of a day."

"You make it sound rather easy." I watched as he coughed and chuckled again, I was unsure of what to say to that. "It doesn't matter anyway, I don't make them anymore." It was then I felt both a surge of relief and oddly a surge of disappointment.

"Oh."

"I made something else, more easier… but a bit more dangerous." My eyebrows jumped up a bit.

"Dangerous?"

"Well yeah, just take one a day for the rest of your life and your set, but they got a nasty side affect because like most drugs they become addictive and if these pills are taken excessively (like 4 - 5 more a day) you can get really sick." So at least I understood that this was definitely like a drug.

"Right."

I watched as he stretched at his shaky hand, reaching into the draw beside his chair, "I got 3 vamps, on this one now. I think Alex is the closest one to you." He chucked over a bottle of pills, which I easily caught. "His number is on the side. You can go now." I stood there for awhile just staring down at the bottle, I was about to open my mouth, when he interrupted me. "Look the first sets free, so even if you don't want them just chuck them, now seriously get out… I have a meeting soon."

I made to move and although a lot slowly then I could have gone, I was still confused by it all… but one thing I was sure about these pills were going straight into the trash when I got home… why not now? Truth was I didn't know.

*****

**Bella, **

**It was on the way home from my meeting with Edward's 'friend' that I saw you and Jake mucking around in the snow outside your house. Jake had just tackled you into the ground and I watched as he kissed you lightly on the lips before getting up and running away. It's funny how something like that, which I originally thought would leave me aching from every inch in my body… would just leave me feeling nothing, nothing at all. **

**So it was because of that I decided to give it a try, just for a bit, I needed to know what it was like to feel again, even if the only thing I felt was pain… I just wanted to be able to feel. **

**Emmett**

*********

I popped opened the small pill bottle in my hand and took one out; putting it on my tongue, I swallowed hard and waited for the magic to work.

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_A.N ok so I hoped you all enjoyed that chapter, next chapter should be posted soon. _


	12. 12: Falling apart

_A.N: Thanks to all who have read and reviewed, i just want to put a warning on this chapter (for drug use). _

_Anyways i hope you all enjoy this chapter. _

* * *

Quiet Guardian

Chapter 12: Falling apart

It had been 3 days since I had started taking the pills, and I found myself staring back at my reflection, unchanged and familiar. I hated it. I wanted to see results, I wanted to be able to feel something… I needed to feel some sort of pain, it wasn't right that I was feeling nothing, when I know my heart should really be aching… aching for her. I hated it.

It was the forth day that I decided to take two, I had gotten to the point where I couldn't care less, so with no trouble of all I swallowed the second pill. I felt dizzy, then everything started to fade away, as I collapsed onto the ground with a dull thud.

*****

**Dear Bella,**

**Last night I dreamed… yes dreamed. I dreamt of the night Edward left again, but this time you wanted to go with him. You told me you loved him and you know longer loved me. I work up body shaking, and aching in agony. It was Brilliant.**

**Emmett. **

*****

"Emmett?"

I turned around to find Jasper staring at me oddly, "Yeah?"

"What were doing on the floor?"

"Trying to sleep." I laughed it off, but I saw him wince… none of them liked it when I joked about human things.

"Oh ok." He was about to leave when I stopped him.

"Jasper?"

"Hmm?"

"I'm sorry." I wanted to say it, before everything changed as I knew it would, we had gotten close lately and I wanted him to know that I was truly sorry for everything that had happened, and that would. And I think the small frown that appeared on Jasper's forehead; before he walked away, told me that he knew and he too was sorry.

*****

Now that I was sleeping, it was becoming harder to hide, what I was doing from all of them. I had even considered stopping, when Rose had walked in waking me, "Were you snoring?"

"Just feigning sleep Rose." She was to naïve at that point to believe me, to work out what was truly happening, I was thankful for that.

I had stayed up all night, in a coffee store in town just outside forks, flipping over the filled pill bottle in my hand, thinking about how it would be so easy to stop right now. But I couldn't especially when I still was unable to feel anything, about Bella being gone from my life. It was selfish of me to feel nothing, when she had to feel everything. So without hesitation, I opened the bottle and swallowed another two.

I felt the room around me swirl, but at least this time I didn't black out, I guess my body was getting use to it. I looked down at my shaky hands, and realised I needed something… something to drink. So I ordered a scotch and sculled it down in one go, I felt the liquor burn down my throat, and it felt damn good.

I ran all the way back to Bella's house that night, slower then usual, I guess the pills were taking affect more then I had imagined. I needed to see her, I wanted to feel what it was like to be in her presence, I needed to feel that pain, and maybe then I could stop, because maybe then I had been through, what I had put her through. Maybe.

"Bella….Bellllaaaa." I punched my fist loudly on the door, splintering it a bit, I watched as the light turned on inside, and Charlie pushed his way through.

"Emmett, What are you doing here… and are you drunk?" I fell forward a bit, losing my balance, I just needed to see her.

"BELLA!!!!"

I screamed louder, Charlie cringed away from my intoxicated breath. Grabbing me by the arm, it felt wonderful that I could feel it… if only just barely. I nearly fell over myself in attempt to get closer to her, as she appeared confused and ever so beautiful behind Charlie.

"Bella go to bed I have this." I watched as Bella walked forward.

"No it's fine," Charlie didn't seem convince, "Really dad I've got this." Charlie dropped my arm and huffed his way back into the house, and my eyes were once again back on her.

"Emmett, what's wrong with you?"

"What's wrong with me?" I laughed, eventually getting louder, " BELLA, YOUR WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME." I yelled at the last bit, collapsing on the ground laughing. Bella kneeled down beside me brushing back my hair, which had seem to get longer everyday. She frowned and I watched as some tears slipped from behind her eyes…. I waited, and then I felt it… agony. I smiled.

For the first time since Edward came back, I knew why he had been smiling, it was good to feel again. I watched as she stood up, however before she got all the way she stopped leaning in close and whispered, "You left and I will never forgive you." It made my mouth burn and I had to concentrate ever so hard not to cry in front of her. She got up, leaving me there to sit on the grass alone. But before she went back inside she turned around, eyes staring; whenever at me or through, I wasn't sure.

"But I will always love you."

I struggled to climb to my feet after she left, and stumbled off into the woods to pass out, I was in so much pain and I was happy, because after that I couldn't stop… I needed to feel every pain known to man, I deserved it.

*****

**Dear Bella, **

**Addiction, I thought I knew what that meant when I fell in love with you. I was wrong, there so much more to it then that.**

**Emmett**

*****

I was out supposedly hunting, when I came across a diner I looked between it and the woods, before finally coming to the conclusion that I wanted to eat human food more then blood. I went in ordered a 'Slap Joe's breakfast' and shovelled it into my mouth, quickly absorbing the different flavours as I did. I chuckled to myself, as I compared this to blood… it was so much better. After I had finished I payed the waitress, before having to run into the bathroom to chuck it all back up again… my body still wasn't entirely use to it. And I cringe at the burning, rubbing my hand along my throat. I walked over to the basin and let my hands wash out my mouth and splash water on my face. I was shocked to see Jacob standing behind me when I allowed myself to look back up.

"Emmett?"

He seemed a bit confused, must be my longer hair.

"Yeah." I spat it out more harshly then I had attended to.

He seemed taken back immediately, his confusion was soon replaced with anger.

"You know what, never mind."

And with that said, I watched as he stormed out of the bathroom. I once again felt nothing towards, my once best friend, so I shakily struggled to get out my pills, popping 3 this time I collapsed into the sink, with a sickening crack, I smiled as my nose began to bleed and everything around me slowly faded away to be replaced by nothing but pain.

*****

**Dear Bella, **

**You told me one night, to explain to me why I loved being a vampire, when everyone else you knew hated it. I told you then, because it was as close to being a superhero, as I could be. You laughed and joked about that being every boy's dream. Funny thing was, it was mine when I was a little boy and when I was a young man. **

**When I first heard I had become a vampire, I feared I had been made into a villain, only to find out a villain wasn't what you are, it was who you are. And I was fully prepared never to become that. **

**I don't think Edward ever told you the first month of being a vampire, I went out bought a cape, fully prepared to go out and do good. It was then Carlisle told me everything, and basically I could never reveal to anyone what I was… even if that meant saving someone. It angered me at first, what was the point in being what we are, if we can't even use our abilities to help people. **

**I went home last night, and got out my cape wrapping it around my shoulders I climbed up to the roof and just sat there thinking. I was interrupted by a harsh wind blowing by causing me to lean into my cape for warmth… I was cold. **

**I use to love being a vampire and a small part of me always will, but for now I have to forget all that and I have to do it for you. **

**Bella it's all for you. I don't want you to have to feel this all alone anymore.**

**So maybe the small part of me that is still vampire, did something good… it gave itself up for you.**

**Emmett**

*****

They all knew now, it had been two weeks and I had even once passed out in front of them from exhaustion. I walked in on Esme crying one day, I didn't know what to do… all I knew was I needed my pills, I needed to feel pain for what I was doing to Esme. I barely made it to my room ripping open the bottle; some pills falling onto the ground, I fell to ground desperately finding them and shoving them in my mouth.

One, two, four (it couldn't hurt to have one more), six.

I fell back against the floor and stared up at the ceiling, waiting for it to begin and as always I felt my body tremble as I allowed myself to hold back my cries (it hurt more when I fought against them). My body ached from every inch. It was everything I deserved.

"Emmett?" The voice had awoken me, and as my blurry eyes search for who had spoken, I could see it was now dark out, I Must have been out for awhile. Then finally I saw her, standing in the corner of my room, Bella's letters pooled around her; had I really wrote that many, "You still love her."

It was like a surge of energy had ripped through me as I stood up and raced across the room, putting both my hands forcibly on her shoulders and slamming her into the wall. She cringed against my weight, I was much stronger then her.

"That's none of your business Alice."

"Dear Bella, It's been a full minute since I last wrote to you, but I realised how I never said that I love you, I need to write it down… because I never be able to say it again. I love you…" I trembled as she began to read one of the letters, where were they? I needed them.

I felt around my empty pocket, before turning frantically around my room, "WHERE DID YOU PUT THEM." I smashed her harder into the wall.

"There gone." I heard her choke out. She was scared and I couldn't care less all that mattered was they were gone. "You don't need them Em."

"I do, I do… and now there gone… gone." I could barely repeat it again. The letters were the last thing on my mind, all that mattered was them, and how I needed them now. With one last look I tried to speed off, fully realizing I couldn't run like that anymore, so I ran down to my jeep instead, thrusting into gear and driving down the road.

It felt like forever before I reached him, not even caring to knock I stormed in and found him where I left him in the that rocking chair. "I need more."

He didn't say anything, and it was beginning to make me angrier, he would just rock back and forth still sucking on his cigarette, and laugh (that sickening laugh). "I don't make them anymore."

I stood there numb, what no he couldn't …. I needed them. After what I had just done to Alice, I deserved to feel the pain they brought me. "Well start making them again."

"I can't do that."

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T." I crossed the room in a matter of seconds ripping him out of his chair. He stayed ever so calm, which just made me angrier. However before I got out, any other words I was yanked out of the room, by two rather large vampires.

"This guy bothering you Mac?"

"Just show him the door Vlad."

I was once again picked up by them and thrown outside. I just laid there in the street, not caring if a car was to come around the corner and smash into me. And that's when I smiled, I remembered it… I remembered him, Alex.

I had been staring at the bottle for so many weeks, the number of course had just sunk in. Pulling out my cell, I pushed in the numbers and waited.

"Hello?"

And there it was hope.

"Hi my name is Emmett, Mac told me you were on the same stuff as me."

"Ahh so he to has told you his stopped making it, bastard."

"Yeah well, I was just wandering if you had any to spare… I mean I'd pay you." I was willing to give up everything to feel again.

"Better, I learnt how to make it too." I smiled and jumped back into my jeep.

"Where can I meet you?"

"Come to my place it's in Seattle, tower hotel, room 1123." I hanged up, without even saying goodbye, I knew he wouldn't care, as I yanked my jeep into gear and tore down the road.

It only took me about ten minutes to reach the hotel, and another five to get up to the room, I knocked once and twice… no answer, where was he? Then there it was an unlocking of locks and an opening of a door.

"Emmett right?" A guy roughly around the same age, my body looked 18 or 19 answered the door, black shaggy hair covering falling in front of his eyes, he pushed it back.

"Yeah." He let me through, and I closed the door behind me, and nearly fainted from the amount of pills he had lying on his coffee table.

"Here." He chucked me a bottle, which I dropped but picked up immediately. "You probably finish that one tonight, so it's on the house… but next one is 200 a bottle." I nodded it didn't matter I had heaps of money. "Here Em, come sit down." I walked over, already pouring 5 pills into my mouth.

"So why you all for the pain Em?"

"I did it, so Bella doesn't have to feel it alone anymore." I knew at once he understood what I meant, getting up to pull something out from behind the couch. It look very similar to what heroin addicts use to inject themselves.

"Yeah, well I killed my wife… human you see." I nodded and cringe at the thought of ever hurting Bella physically. "He try this, by now your skin is soft enough, to inject things into." I looked down at the needle unsure. "Look if you want to feel all the pain you can, insert this… its vampire venom… not enough to turn you… but enough to burn you for at least an hour. You said you were doing this for her, well here take it." I hesitantly picked up the needle, closing my eyes as I pushed it into my skin, it stung and as I began to push the venom into my body… I felt it… the burning and I sunk to the ground in agony. Alex soon followed and we jerked around on the floor in sync for at least an hour. For once I felt I had finally been through what I put Bella through, now I would just have to do this everyday, for the rest of my life and maybe just maybe we be even.

It ended sooner then I would have liked, and I found myself turning to Alex, "That was."

"I know."

"Thankyou."

"No Emmett thankyou."

*****

**Dear Bella,**

**It was after my night with Alex, that I went home and had sex with Rose. It doesn't matter that I don't love her anymore… it's not like I feel pleasure from it anyway. But it does make the next time I inject myself burn more. I guess it's the first time since she had come back… that I was thankful. **

**I stay up all night, after the burning finishes, or sometimes before (it makes it hurt more that way) telling Alex about how I love you and how much I've hurt you. Alex tells me about his wife (also human) and how much he loved her, and how much he wishes he could do things differently and if he had just remembered to pick up the milk, they wouldn't have had to go through that set of lights and that drunk driver wouldn't have hit him. They doctors, forgot about his wife the moment they pulled her out of the car, she was dead, and he hunted down every single doctor and before killing them he whispered to them, "Is this what you call a miracle." It seemed like something Edward would have said. It burned so much more that night. **

**Bella I'm afraid that after tonight, I weren't be quite myself. So I want to finish this last letter with two last things.**

**I love you.**

**And goodbye.**

**Emmett**

*********

I finished scribbling down the last letter, as I watched Jake curled up beside Bella on the couch. I knew that I would be taking more tonight then I needed to. Alex didn't even need to ask when he saw me enter… pulling out twice as much as we normally used… I saw then the wedding video playing in the background, and the rings on the coffee table.

"Anniversary."

It said everything and together we injected ourselves, with all that was left of us and smiled as the blackness and pain consumed us.

* * *

A.N: Ok well that's it for chapter 12, i hoped you enjoyed this chapter... it took me awhile to write how i thought Emmett would be dealing with this new turn of events, i hope i did it all in character.

Next chapter will be up soon and then shortly after that, they all be off to Yale... chaos assure.

-Katie


	13. 13: Inside and out JS: Grief

_A.N: Hey thanks all for your lovely reviews... soz it took me awhile to update, but this chapter was harder to write then my others. Well I really hope you like it - Katie  
_

_DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT_

* * *

Quiet Guardian

Chapter 13: Inside and Out (Jasper's story: grief)

"_**We came into the world like brother and brother;**_

_**And now let's go hand in hand,**_

_**Not one before another."**_

_**William Shakespeare**_

*****

Emmett didn't come home last night, and I found myself out looking for him all night. I began to think to myself, when had Emmett become my problem, when did his mistakes … become mine to worry about and I realised, he was my brother, my friend and it was going to be always my place to worry about him.

I was sitting on the front porch; just staring up at the sky, it was now day and I knew Alice would soon be looking for me, I got up dusting off my jeans… stopping as I heard a rumble coming up the driveway. It was Emmett and I let out a breath I hadn't realised I'd been holding. I walked/ran my way over to where he stumbled out of his jeep and I had to stop and look again, to make sure it really was him.

I could see the changes with Edward, when I found out he was taking the pills, but they had been nothing like what Emmett was experiencing. The purple rings under Emmett's eyes told me, he should be sleeping… but he wasn't, the sudden weight loss (made known from his baggy clothes, that had once fitted him perfectly) told me he should be eating… but he wasn't. Wasn't that what he wanted, didn't he do this to become human… to fulfil human needs, wasn't that what this was all about?

He looked up, and I allowed my eyes to connect with his. He could tell I was confused (I could feel his understanding) but he just shook his head and made his way back inside the house. And I was left, without any answers and if possible more scared then I had been last night.

*****

"Jazz?"

"Hmm." Alice's arm wrapped around my waist, and I automatically leant into her, but I knew this wasn't about the embrace.

"Something's been troubling you, will you tell me about it." She had always been the one to take care of me, I really should be the one asking if she was ok, she had been acting different lately too. I spun around catching her off guard and press my lips to hers.

"It's Bella's birthday party tomorrow, she invited us both." So she wasn't going to give in, she really wanted to talk. I let out a sigh.

"Do you really think that's the best thing…" She didn't let me finish.

"Yes." She seemed so sure, that I was sure that I had missed something.

"What happened Alice?"

"Nothing, ok." I could tell she was lying, and I knew that she knew too, she obviously didn't want to talk about it, so I let it go. But it did hurt that she wouldn't tell me, when in the past we had shared so much. I kissed her once more before getting up from the couch and walking up towards Emmett's room.

I stopped before entering, and allowed the room's smell to reach my nostrils, it was a mixture of alcohol, sweat and blood… and none of it enticed me to enter. But I saw Emmett lying face down on the ground, breathing heavily and I couldn't stop myself from walking over and picking him up. He was lighter then he looked; and that didn't comfort me one bit. I dropped him onto the bed, and rolled him so he was facing the ceiling and that's when I notice it and wondered how had I not seen it last time, or had I had and just pretended not to notice. Because now that I had seen it and accepted they were really there, I knew this all was more serious then I had originally been led to think. My finger trembled as it traced lightly over Emmett's track marks and I found myself thinking, how I never ever expected this to be a problem with our family.

He let out a sigh and flipped himself over on his side, I made my escape then and it wasn't into after I was outside his room, that I realised I was shaking.

*****

I climbed out of the passenger seat, and walked over opening Alice's door; she would never let me drive her car. I pressed my lips to her shoulder and whispered how beautiful she looked, before I knocked on Bella's door. She looked over and smiled at me, just before the door opened and there was Bella smiling, looking happy as ever. If my ability wasn't all used up, keeping my emotions under control around Alice in that damn dress, then maybe I would have seen it sooner. Maybe.

For most of the party, I stood back and allowed Alice to pull me around to various individuals to talk to, I made sure to laugh and nod at the appropriate moments, truth was I never really was one for these 'parties' but as long as Alice was happy, I would at least try to be. It was as the party was coming to an end that I saw Emmett make his appearance, which had change dramatically since yesterday, Emmett seem to give up on his old clothes (which now three sizes to big for him) he had moved on to a white button up dress top (to hide the marks… I thought) and hung loosely over it was a black vest, he had also moved on to the darker and less baggy jeans. Another huge change was the hair, now hanging loosely in front of his eyes and long enough to just to reach his shoulders, he looked everything like the tragic musician and I wouldn't have been surprised if he pulled out a guitar and started belting out tragic love songs.

I watched as Bella, who had been in conversation stop talking all together, and that's when I felt a mixture of hurt and anger. Emmett started to make his way over to where we were standing, and for the first time I realised he wasn't alone, but some guy who mirrored Emmett in almost everyway; except by the small amount of stubble along his jaw, made his way over too.

"Happy Birthday Bella," I watched as Emmett smiled and handed over a small wrapped gift, Bella just stood unmoving, and transfixed on Emmett's new being. But then as if she never been shocked at all, she shook her head and smiled. "Thanks Emmett."

I knew they weren't happy because all I could feel was pain and agony.

"This is Alex, he is my…." Emmett paused for a second and allowed a feeling of doubt to cloud me, before Alex spoke.

"I'm Emmett's new friend." Emmett smiled once again and patted Alex lightly on the back.

I wasn't sure if that was a truth, or another lie… but I was sure about one thing, they meant a lot to one another… a lot.

"You really do look great Bella." He said it so easily, but my ability allowed me to feel his pain, by just talking to her.

"Thanks." She didn't say it back, because he didn't look great he looked like shit… and that wasn't exactly the nicest thing to say to someone. But Jacob, who had come up from behind Bella, didn't seem to care about manners. "Yeah and you look like crap."

I watched as Emmett just laughed it off, Alex and him turning to one another and laughing in sync. When deep down, I could feel there grief. They knew they looked horrible, and that's when I realised that didn't care and none of this had anything to do with being human. Emmett was still in love with Bella and he was doing this all because he felt guilty about choosing Rose.

"Have you been smoking?" Charlie was the next one to walk up to Bella, pausing for a moment before realising the smell wasn't coming from her, "Oh it's you two, wait who are you…Emmett?"

"Yeah sorry, I kind of picked it up recently… we can leave if you want?"

Charlie still hadn't fully allowed the situation to sink in, and Jacob was left to answer for him, "Yeah I think it be best if you just go… right Bella?" I felt her immediate anxiousness, she didn't want him to go, but she smiled and held out her hand. "I'll see you around then?"

Emmett smiled back and took his grip on her hand, "Yep." And there it was for the briefest of moments, neither of them wanted to let go, neither of them wanted to say goodbye again. This very moment was killing them and I was beginning to become afraid about what would happen, when they eventually let go. But they just dropped both there hands (only a vampire would have seen the lingering of Emmett's fingers… trying to hold her hand to his longer) and walked away both with mirroring smiles and broken hearts.

They were still in love with each other.

I looked over at Alice wondering if she had seen it, but as I looked at her face, I knew she knew and she had for sometime. And I painfully tried to find a reason why she hadn't told me… but all I drew up were blanks.

*****

"When the hell were you planning to tell me?"

We had made it home, and I had immediately turned to Alice in the car, pursuing an answer.

"What?"

She knew I knew, I could feel it but there she was with the lying again, maybe there was more to it then I had been led to believe… was Bella pregnant too?

"You know exactly what I mean, stop lying to me Alice, when did you find out Emmett still loved Bella?"

Alice stopped trying to ignore me and turned around facing me, "I think we all knew from the moment he came back, that he wasn't the same Emmett. But it wasn't until the letters that I was sure."

"Letters?"

I watched as she pulled a badly folded one, from one of her pockets, "I was going to show this to Bella, but I wasn't sure if it make things better or worse… it's just things are so bad Jazz and I don't know what to do anymore."

It was hard not to take her in my arms, but I needed to know more, so I leant over taking the letter… making sure to let my fingers linger for a moment on her hand. I opened it and began to read.

**Dear Bella,**

**I wanted to start this letter by saying how much I love you and how much I miss you, but this all makes me hate you if not more then the day before. I hate you for what you've done to me, I hate you for making me come back and for making me stay, I hate you for making me fall in love with you and I hate you for giving up on me. **

**Bella I truly deeply hate you, but then again I do truly deeply love you. **

**Emmett. **

I wasn't sure what to make of it, "Is this the only one or are there more."

"Hundreds more."

"Oh… and when did you find them." Alice looked scared, I never seen her like this before and it almost made me want to be sick.

"Last Friday." Then it clicked, that was when she had started acting different.

"Alice what happened."

"I was walking up to check on him, and I saw him past out on the floor, the pill bottle still in his hand, so I picked it up and ran off with them chucking them off a cliff. By the time I arrived back he was still past out and allowed myself to look around and make sure he didn't have anymore and that's when I found the box and all the letters," I could almost feel her trembling as she continued, "He woke up shortly after that and was furious, and I think I made things worse when I read out one of his letters… I know he didn't mean to.. But he…"

"What Alice what did he do?" I was getting anxious.

"He… grabbed me and pushed me into the wall… it hurt, but I knew it wasn't his fault… it's the pills his on, Jazz it wasn't him."

"Get out."

Alice shakily got out and I slid over to the drivers seat, shifting the car into reverse I tore down the street, not looking back.

*****

I didn't know what to think.

Truth be told, I wasn't really thinking, because all I was feeling was anger.

Anger towards, Edward for leaving.

Anger towards, Emmett for coming back.

Anger towards, Bella for telling Emmett to stay.

Anger towards, Edward for coming back.

Anger towards, whoever made those pills.

Anger towards, Edward for taking the pills.

Anger towards, Emmett for taking the pills after he seen what it had done to Edward.

Anger towards, Alex for everything he had done to Emmett, this past week (I knew it had to do with him).

ANGER towards, Emmett for hurting Alice, my Alice.

My fists clenched the steering wheel tighter, I knew I was getting closer. I could smell them.

I eventually pulled up outside, a rather extravagant house, and parked Alice's car just adjacent to it on the street. I could tell a party was going on and I knew that I would surely fine Emmett in the middle of it. It was funny how this party only a few weeks ago, wouldn't have made me think of Emmett, and now was the first place I looked for him.

I walked in and was immediately surrounded with a strong smell of alcohol and vomit; it was disgusting, making my way through the crowded house I looked desperately for Emmett. Eventually I saw Alex and him in the kitchen downing a few dozen beers, and new fresh track marks on their arms. I looked over at his arm and instead of being upset like I was before, all I felt was anger and I hurried my pace over to them. If he had been shocked to see me here, it hadn't shown.

"Jasper, brother come have a drink with us."

"Yeah Bro, have a few."

It was Alex who said it this time, and that's when I felt like everything clicked… I shouldn't be angry at Emmett, I should be angry with Alex (It's his fault Emmett's shooting up). I started walking towards Alex and it was just before I raised my fist, fully prepared to punch him as hard as I could (that wouldn't kill him), that Emmett jumped in front and my fist connected with his face. He doubled over falling hard to the ground, holding his hand to his face, where he began to shake. It wasn't until I listened closer that I realised he wasn't crying, he was laughing.

He turned to face me then, teeth bloody, jaw already beginning to turn a nasty shade of purple. "Punch me again Jazz, come on punch me again."

It was something about the urgency in his voice, that nearly made me want to be sick (even though I knew it was impossible for me). I got up and left, trembling as I left, walking away with his pleas for more violence etched in my mind forever.

*****

I arrived back home, and walked past Alice with not as much as a glance, she followed me though, and I led her into Rose's room where she was standing, just standing.

"Rose, we need to talk… about Emmett."

She didn't turn around, but I knew she was going to listen, "He is taking the pills…."

"Because of me… I know. He still loves Bella and I was selfish and told him I would only stay a vampire if he stayed with me….it's all my fault I know that…" It was then that I heard her voice begin to crack; something that Rose's simply never did, "I found them, all of them and I just put them back and pretended they weren't there… that he didn't still love her and that he was still in love with me."

I walked up behind her, and forced her to face me… she wasn't crying (vampires can't cry) but she was breaking down and I couldn't watch another family member breakdown in front of me again. So maybe I was a being selfish as I pulled her towards me and let her body cry out into my arms, in the only way a vampire could… we stood there both so still, both unmoving and both crying in the only way we could.

I remember asking Alice what it looked liked; Rose's and my embrace, and she said it was both tragic, but ever so beautiful. And Just before I kissed her I decided that was exactly what Emmett and Bella's situation was… tragic, but still so beautiful. He loved her, she loved him and they both believed they weren't loved by the other. So as my lips came to rest on Alice's forehead I was determined to make it right again and so it would once again, just be beautiful.

* * *

A.N: Ok so what you think??? I was a bit nervous about this one, i love to hear your feedback

-Katie


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